Ubisoft: Rewrites history in AC Origins to be more inclusive for the pearl clutchers

Boy am I glad I did not buy this game, from Ubisoft scalping maximum profits from their special edition asking over $800 for said special edition version of the game. To them adding Microtransactions and Loot Boxes in a single player game. And basically, blackmailing people into purchasing DLC from Gamestop. And now this? Remember the new feature everyone was so excited about in AC Origins? They called it: “Assassin’s Creed: Origins Discovery Tour” basically a mode that allows you to walk around the world of AC Origins and view historical landmarks and items. Well, it turns out it is not so historical as we thought it was. It turns out they censored all the nude statues featured in the mode, as well as admitted to rewriting history as a way prioritize “inclusive gameplay” over “historical sexism”. Whatever the fuck that means…

The logic in all this is absolutely mindblowing, you don’t go make something more appropriate for educational use by deliberately censoring and changing history. What is the entire point of the exercise in the end? Because you aren’t teaching the facts about history you are changing it because the pearl-clutching puritans out there don’t want children to see a painted or sculpted pair of titties or dongs. It seems at odds with the rest of the game where deadly violence is acceptable, but the (adult) human form is not. But for fuck sake, covering up historical statues and accurate works of art in a game that holds the equivalent rating of an R-rated film seems absolutely fucken insane let that sink in for a moment. What if museums and art galleries started doing the same thing? Not to mention children visit museums. Museums have statues with nipples and genitals showing.

I can hear the peanut gallery screaming from the back: “But you should not be getting historical facts from a video game!” If this is supposed to be educational historical inaccuracies is the very opposite of educational. I don’t care if someone’s fee-fees get hurt, history is brutal and cruel, make yourself a cup of cement and harden the fuck up already. This is extremely disheartening as a long time fan of the Assassins Creed franchise. One of the biggest draws of Assassins Creed games has always been their commitment to historical accuracy where applicable. I learned plenty of history through their games I never would have known otherwise. Making changes like these are literally teaching kids a lie, to reframe art/history through political correctness just weakens us all.

[Editorial Note:] Sanitizing history because it doesn’t live up to modern ideals is a slippery slope.