‘Love Bombing’ Is the New Relationship Trend That Experts Say Singles Need to Look Out For

According to experts, singles need to be on the lookout for a new  relationship trend that could make them the victim of a  manipulator.“Love bombing,” says psychiatrist Dale Archer, writing for  Psychology Today, is a “form of conditioning” used by manipulative  people to train those they are dating to act in the way they want them  to.Relationships start off with lots of gifts and attention, says  Archer, but it turns out to be a way that the giver trades for care and  affection.As soon as they perceive that they are not receiving either,  he says, you will often see their true colors! 

A new relationship trend …  According to experts, there is a new  relationship trend that especially singles need to be on the lookout  for. It’s called “Love Bombing,” and according to psychiatrist Dale  Archer, writing for Psychology Today,  it is a tactic used by  manipulators to train the people they date to act the way they want them  to and give them the care and attention they want. 

Love bombing feels so romantic. “Love bombing” is seductive, says  Archer, and can feel like a whirlwind romance. Far more than simply  being the rush of new romance, the relationship starts with extravagant  displays of affection, including gifts and lots of attention. 

When you are being “love bombed” things move quickly.  Relationships in which you are being “love bombed,” says Archer, tend to  move quickly, and not only does all the attention help to push any  doubts and reservations to the background, it can also cause high levels  of infatuation. The constant contact, he says, like calls and texts,  can also make it difficult for the victim of a “love bomber” to be able  to assess if they are being manipulated. 

Narcissists use love bombing as a tactic.All of the affection and  attention, says Archer, begin to make victims co-dependent on the “love  bomber,” who he says is often a “narcissist or sociopath.”  The  honeymoon period does come to a dramatic end when the “predator” or  “love bomber” detects even the smallest hint of their victim not showing  the care or focus on them that they want. 

It feels like falling in love. “Love bombing” can be difficult to  spot, says Archer, because relationships are usually exciting to begin  with. People are often taken by the potential of the future, the process  of getting to know someone new, and the emotional highs provided by the  release of chemicals in the brain! 

Can feel like the real thing. The difference between the usual  “butterflies” and “giddiness” of a new relationship and a relationship  in which you are being “love bombed,” says Archer, is that things become  serious very quickly. He says that the person also demands more of your  time than most would consider normal. 

”Love bombers” feel like a match made in heaven. Archer says that  some victims of “love bombers” even start dating with the intention of  taking things slowly but find that almost impossible when confronted by  someone who seems perfect for them. In no time, a predator who is love  bombing you, says Archer, might declare that you are “the one,” start  making plans to marry you and might even move in! 

”Love bombers” are attractive.There are reasons why a “love  bombing abuser” could be attractive to you, says Joe Pierre, also  writing for Psychology Today. Narcissists, explains the professor of  psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at UCLA, often have a list of  sought-after traits like “self-sufficiency, confidence, and ambition.” 

People with unresolved issues from the past are often victims of “love bombing.”  Another reason why some people are more likely to become the victim of a  “love bomber,” says the author of “Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with  Mindfulness,” Deborah Ward, is that they tend to go for a similar kind  of abusive relationship over and over again. This is because she says  the victim has unresolved issues that they need to address before that  relationship pattern can change. 

Some people are comfortable in “damaging and toxic relationships.”  People who have experienced trauma in the past, says Ward, may attempt  to “fix the past” by recreating it time and time again in other  relationships. They become comfortable with “damaging, toxic  relationships" because it becomes what they are used to. 

What happens when the mask falls off …  According to experts,  when the mask falls away from the “love bomber,” the experience can be  heartbreaking for the victim. Victims are likely to invest time trying  to bring back the person they thought they met, and it may take them a  long time to admit that the person never actually existed. 

The gifts were all calculated. All the affection, attention, and  gifts were part of a transaction, say experts. Each thing they ever gave  you was part of a well-calculated strategy designed to ensure that you  would always want to keep them happy. 

”Love bombs” are designed to keep victims compliant. “Love  bombers” raise you up so they can devalue you, says Perpetual Neo, a  therapist who specializes in the kind of personality types that are  likely to love bomb others. This is meant to keep their victims on high  alert against doing anything wrong. 

How to know you are dating a “love bomber.” Archer writes that if  the “extravagant displays of affection continue indefinitely,” and the  the words of the person you are dating matches with their actions, then  you may not be dealing with a “love bomber.” What you are looking out  for is the sudden shift to angry and controlling behavior with  accompanying “unreasonable demands.” 

Take things slow. According to Archer, the best way to be sure is  to take things slow. Acknowledge when you feel pressured and impress  your boundaries. If it seems too good to be true, he says, then chances  are it probably is!