My Cat's Midlife Crisis......
The following post comes from my blog and the original can be found here: https://beanxiousaboutnothing.wordpress.com/2015/12/05/laff-midlife-crisis-cat/
At the original upload of this blog post (in 2015), our oldest cat was an 11-year-old American shorthair named Cathy Cat. She would cross the Rainbow Bridge in 2016 and we miss her every day.
Today has been a long day. From reading about all the junk that is going on in the world, to having to break up a cat fight in our living room, I’m about done with today. I need some humor to halt the downward spiral this day has taken. The cats are fine, the oldest one punched the youngest in the eyeball. The youngest is now walking around the room in a daze, blinking the affected eye open and closed. It’s kinda creepy….like she’s flirting with the whole room. Yes, I checked her out and she is otherwise fine.
Although the oldest has been a bit morose lately. She just had a physical and was given a clean bill of health so it’s not that. Although she did just wee outside the litter box a few days ago. But I think I know what the problem is.
She’s having a mid-life crisis.
See, up until quite recently, she was a model for a high-end brand of cat food. She’d prance around before the camera, nuzzling the bag and purring contentedly as tiny morsels of squab and duck rained down into the waiting bowl with a satisfying clinking sound. But in the past year or so, she’s gained a few pounds and her contract was canceled because, according to the brand, she “no longer resembles the svelte cat we originally wanted for our campaign.” Despite the fact that the weight she gained was due to her plentiful diet of a high-end cat food containing squab and duck. Apparently, cause and effect is not something that cat food executives understand.
Jerks.
Anyway, because of her modeling background, she was able to rub noses with other famous felines. She even dated Squeakers the cat, the grandson of the original Morris from the 9Lives commercial. But he dumped her last month because he wanted to see other cats. Of course, she was devastated. As part of her post-break-up reaction, she went on a cat-nip bender for about 2 days. I’m still coming across flecks of nip in the carpet.
There is a bit of good news though. She just signed up for a feline yoga exercise class as a way to relieve stress. She’s also in therapy to help regain her self-esteem. To love herself at her current size. Every night before bed she stands in front of the bathroom mirror and repeats the following: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!”
If you are going through a period of morosity, take heart, you are not alone. Even cats have times of funk, but they always land on their feet. 🙂
Cheers!
PS: After Squeakers the cat dumped her, she did develop a bit of a drinking problem. :-P