Sibling rivalry is inevitable to some degree, but it doesn't have to take over your home. parenting experts recommend to stop sibling rivalry in its tracks and even prevent it before it starts.

Spend time one on one

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Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist says,
"Rivalry is all about kids wanting their own time—it's primarily about the child receiving acknowledgment and recognition from the parents,"
"Whether your child enjoys a game of catch outside or curling up with you to watch a movie, pay close attention to the amount of individual attention each child is receiving." It could be the key to more harmony at home.

Make time for family fun

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In a busy world where free time is hard to find, fun often gets put on the back burner. According to Dr. Greenberg, spending quality time with family doing an enjoyable activity can create an atmosphere that quells sibling rivalry. "Make sure to set aside time for family fun, because it shows children that families don't have to be characterized by competition or rivalry, "People by nature love tradition, it doesn't have to be anything spectacular, but something your individual family enjoys can really change the tone at home," according to Dr. Greenberg.

Know when to intervene

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All siblings desire to be seen as individuals with unique goals and talents. not only do children need their own space, such as a bedroom, but they also need their own time to enjoy activities as an individual. Whether a child finds fulfillment in playing a sport, or a musical instrument, children need the option to have something, and someplace, that is just for them.
"Having the time to do their own thing allows kids to be themselves, and that's important," she says. When a child feels fulfilled and seen as an individual, with unique abilities, it diminishes the need to strive against a sibling for power within the home.

Encourage reciprocal celebrations

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You don't have to look too deep into the family photo album to find a picture of one child being celebrated and his or her sibling scowling in the background. While it might prove to be a funny moment to capture, it actually sets the stage for resentment and anger between siblings if they are not encouraged to genuinely celebrate one another's accomplishments. "This is actually a skill that will serve them well not just in life with a sibling, but in the future as well,"

Parents can encourage siblings to celebrate one another by ensuring that each child is celebrated for individual successes regularly, and the celebrations are focused on wide-ranging achievements. Small celebrations for things such as acts of kindness parents have witnessed, academic success, or completing their weekly chores on time can be opportunities for children to cheer one another on.

Keep communication appropriate

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While parents might slip on this one from time to time, it's important to keep the communication between yourself and your child in check. Dr. Greenberg cautions parents to resist the temptation to confide in their child inappropriately, saying, "As tempting as it is, don't confide in one child about a difficult sibling. It can breed animosity and anger between children." How you speak to your child both in front of others, and in private, matters as well, and she warns parents not to claim a favorite, even in private. "There should be no secret conversations about a child being the favorite—even if you tell both children they're the favorite when you're alone with them. It sets up an environment where sibling rivalry can thrive," she explains.

Resist the temptation to label

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"When you label your child you close off an entire arena of enjoyment to the other children, and it robs them of opportunities." Even positive labels can have negative consequences, and parents need to keep their observations to themselves, while encouraging all of their children to seek out activities that interest them as individuals. This is why you shouldn't call your kids smart.

Give age-appropriate responsibilities

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For some families, the older siblings are tasked with caring for those younger in the family. Dr. Greenberg believes this causes resentment and discord in the family unit. "Older children need chores and responsibilities that are suited for their age group, but being considered the live-in babysitter should not be one of them. They're not the parents of the younger siblings, and should not have to take on that responsibility," she says. Dr. Ferenz advises parents to give opportunities for team work between siblings. "When you're in the grocery store and the kids start fighting over which cereal to buy, try having them take turns pulling items off the shelves that are on your list. Encourage them to think as a team," she recommends.

Resist the urge to compare

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A parent that utters the phrase "Why can't you be more like your brother?" might be doing more damage to the delicate sibling relationship than he or she realize

"Parents must resist the temptation to compare the children to each other and to a specific parent, as well." She continues, "When we compare a child to a parent, saying, 'You get that from your father', it implies favoritism. All kids want to be seen as individuals and celebrated as such."

Discipline them separately

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ry to avoid reprimanding your child in front of other family members, especially siblings. It often leads to embarrassment, anger, and retaliation." If another room is not available to provide privacy to speak with your child, simply pulling them to the side and speaking quietly will suffice. It is important that children feel respected and heard, even during moments of redirection.

Hold family meetings

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Not only do siblings need to view themselves as a team, they need to know that they are part of the larger family team as well. "Older children, especially teenagers, might benefit from family meetings. Consider scheduling weekly meetings as a way to take the temperature of the family," Dr. Ferenz suggests.

*** "Sibling conflict can be disruptive, often requiring intervention from a parent. However, when busy parents have a moment of peace, they often want to savor it, and miss an opportunity for positive reinforcement." ***

Catch them being good

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She recommends occasionally rewarding them with something special for good behavior, like a trip to the park. She recommends that parents make sure to point out the specific positive behavior before offering the reward, for example, "I really like the way you're playing together today. Let's take a trip to the park."

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