Being calm

I was never calm. In fact, relaxation exercises made me tense because I was killing myself to comply and do them right. When people tell you to be calm, it is like some random person telling you to smile when a bomb just went off in your life. It does not feel good.
If you have just been assaulted by bad news or are a chronic worrier how are you supposed to be calm, cool, collected, and breathe? For me, breathing just never seemed like enough to turn tension to tranquility. Like a wisp of air trying to blow out a huge flame.
I never, ever thought I would be the person answering this question for myself or anyone else. But when I was blindsided by something a few years ago, none of the usual remedies helped. Concerned that maybe my plight was worse than some of the people I treat, I knew I had to figure this out. I had to get calm. There was no choice.
First of all, to be a Calm Person in general can be an easier goal than calming down in a singular crisis. Thats because it involves small steps over time rather containing a catastrophe with a panicky mind. If you have no former experience with moving your mind to a serene place it can feel impossible to gather yourself. Building the skill beforehand helps when difficulty hits.
Small steps pack a bigI was going to say punch, but l will say remedy. Consistent baby steps with a bit of stretch are the best method for True Change (internal, solid, real, and lasting) in most endeavors. Practice the new habit over time so it becomes part of you.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. (Aristotle)
Even if you can only spare five minutes, use it to stay in touch with yourself as a gathered soul. The point is to not lose your connection, however fragile or loose, to the calm self that is being created. Hold on to the effort and the belief that you will become such.
I have to tell you that I have been crazy and I have been calm and calm is better.
How to Be a Calm Person: 3 Methods for Mind over Matter

1. Immersion: Do a yoga or meditation class 4-5 days a week for one month. Why? Immersion helps you master something deeply, quickly. If you like it, its yours.
2. Let yourself take Naps. I saw a sky blue sign with happy red letters that said, I like you and Naps. It was on Interest. Sleep is good for creativity and calm. The unconscious mind can sort through confusions at rest.
3. Listen to Music That Calms. You have to pick the pieces. What did you love as a child? As for me I love Dido songs-white flag, life for rent also James blunt songs and many blues songs from the sixties and seventies. You might consider instrumental if lyrics rev you up too much. Save that for another time.