Lonely Déjà vu
As I was slowly cruising to work this morning, I had a touch of Déjà vu. I had my driver and passenger windows both let down about halfway and I was cruising down a one way street at about 35 mph. There was a nice breeze flowing through the cab of my Tacoma as I turned the radio up a little bit. Maybe it was the song playing mixed with the faint smell of fall coming that struck my Déjà vu. The song playing was psychology by a band called LAW. I first heard this song last year around this time. My best friend Elee and I used to listen to it most Friday nights while preparing to go downtown to the bars.
With the song and smell combined I was instantly taken back to the good times of hanging out with Elee. At 8:30 this morning I just wanted to be back in those fall nights, jamming out and drinking cold beers. The reminiscing was nice but it made me a little sad because this year, fall is going to be a lot different. Elee and the rest of my friends have all moved away. We all met while attending college together. I had the best years of my life with them and now, at the age of 23, I am questioning if I grew up too fast.
I graduated a little bit before my friends. I have a graphic design degree and had a job immediately after graduating. I worked hard in school and built a portfolio that is hard to turn down. Aside from having a great job, I also got engaged to the love of my life this past January. We had been together for 5 years when I proposed to her. I love her more than anything in the world and now I am paying for us to have a nice house to live in. My fiancee just started her graduate program for school so she is gone all of the time now.
As I rode to work this morning, with that song playing and smelling fall in the air, I realized... I am lonely. I don't have my best friends here anymore to relax with or enjoy good music with. The one person that I do still have here is busy with school 24-7. It is taking every bit of money that I make to pay for the house and the rest of the bills. Most people would call it successful..a good job, new house, new truck, planning for a wedding. I call it making it by. I am happy but I just feel like I am not working towards anything now. Maybe I am just in a slump this morning from the long weekend. I usually try to spread positivity and love, but I just feel alone today.
You are never alone really!
Here on Steemit you will find support and also ...let's say negative things!
You are a good individual, and dont you thing that you are less than that.
Don't let people rule your life !
Just now, just your article here on steemit it is shown and people see you!
Thanks for that cynetyc.
Yeah, but you know those times alone are important. Those thoughts and feelings you have when your alone, shape your interactions during your time with people. Times when you feel like this are like a tree sending roots into the ground. These times will actually help you find even more happiness soon - new leaves and flowers blossoming in the sun. Keep your head up @jpiper20! and thanks for sharing.
That comment brought a smile :)
:D
Awww buddy I am here!
I know you're always here clevecross!
I'm right there with you, @jpiper20. I left all of my friends around 20 to follow where I felt life was taking me and there are days that I reminisce about the "the good old" days. I miss my friends tremendously, but we still keep in touch as often as our busy lives allow us..but it's not the same.
Keep your head up, bud! Better days are coming around the bend, I just know it. Keep up the incredible posts, and know that you have friends here on Steemit!
That is exactly how I feel. I just don't want to be old before I know it and look back and wonder why I did the things I did.
Yes! I know that feeling all too well. Regret is a hard to thing to overcome, and I'm still working on it. There are a lot of things that I did that I don't necessarily regret doing now, but regret the way that I did them.
I'm beginning to realize that I can't dwell on those things, as there is nothing I can do to change them. I am learning to accept that today is the most important part of my life, not yesterday, and not tomorrow...Today.
Carpe diem!
Embrace your loneliness