Char Tsar Coffee (Recipe)

in #food8 years ago (edited)

A White Russian mixed with Turkish Coffee is the most glorious treat.



Serve it flaming.


Yes, the glorious and legendary Char Tsar Coffee. A dreamlike coffee; not for amateurs.
This recipe will not be found elsewhere, I'm afraid, so this is your only chance to read it.

To make this majestic coffee, you must get some ingredients:

1. Sugarcane
2. Sugar
3. Coffee Beans
4. Coffee Grinder
5. Vodka
6. Everclear
7. Honey
8. Vanilla beans
9. Cocao powder
10. Blender
11. Ice
12. Filters
13. Love


First, we must make the coffee liqueur.


Grind up your beans. Grind up plenty of them. As much as you want. Be reasonable however, and make sure that you read the entire recipe first, so you know the purposes for each step and can intuitively understand how much of each ingredient you need. It's all to taste, so I won't give any exact measurements.

Grind up your vanilla beans, coffee beans, cocoa powder, and sugarcane all together, and set it aside in a measuring cup. Be generous. We want lots of flavor here.

After you've ground your beans and sugarcane, pour some vodka into a pot or pan on the stove. Keep a low flame or low heat, because vodka steam will ignite. When the vodka begins to boil, add your ground up ingredients. Also add some sugar and honey, for the purpose of giving the coffee liqueur a delicious flavor. Be reasonable. This isn't Starbucks.

Add a splash of whole milk if you want to give it a more opaque appearance. It might also improve the taste. Mix it well, then filter it through a filtering screen or nut-milk-bag a few times. This will create a unique type of coffee liqueur. It will be delicious.

Then craft your Turkish Coffee.


To do this, grind up coffee, and if you're daring, add some cocoa powder or vanilla beans. Really grind 'em up. It needs to be powdery.

Get a pan, or Turkish coffee maker, and fill it with water. Dump some sugar in there, almost as much sugar as the amount of coffee grounds you'll add.

Add some honey as well, if you wish. Mix it into the boiling water, and then once dissolved, add your coffee grounds.

Mix well, until the whole thing is bubbly and well boiled. Don't burn it though.

The sugar should have caramelized, and bonded with the coffee. Filter it through an easy-going filter. Don't use a paper one. Use one with mesh that's pretty fine, but not too fine. This is Turkish coffee, and part of the charm is the grounds on the bottom. The sugar holds the grounds in place, so you don't get any in your mouth while you drink. Large coffee particles will float though, so that's why we're filtering only the big particles out.

After this, you should have your two coffee liquids. The coffee liqueur, and your Turkish coffee.
Let these cool in the fridge, until quite cold.

You're ready to truly begin.



Get a pre-chilled glass, and put an ice cube in it.

Fill the glass more than a 1/4th of the way with either the Turkish coffee or the coffee liqueur. If it's morning, use more Turkish coffee. If it's party-night, use more coffee liqueur. Just my advice.

Then finish filling your glass halfway or more, by pouring in the coffee drink that you didn't already use.
The ratio between should be roughly half, or exactly half, whichever you prefer.

Gently pour milk on top, add a splash of vodka, and you've got a delicious dark coffee drink.
Nice, but not enough.

Grind up some ice in a chilled blender. I recommend just grinding up ice once, letting it chill the blender, and then dumping the melted liquid, so your actual ice is unmelted. So grind it up. Vrrrrrr! You should get some snowy shavings. You can add some sugar before hand, so the ice is sweetened, if you're into that sort of thing.

Sprinkle it heavily onto the surface of the milk, so that you get a nice crust of icy snow.
You can also use thick whipped cream if you desire, but it might not work as well. It might also work better. I haven't tried it.

Simultaneously, mix sugar into 90%-alcohol Everclear, and pour it into a cup you can microwave, and which pours easily.
Once your sugar-Everclear solution is mixed, heat it it until it's steaming. Don't let it spark. Not yet.

Pour it onto the ice shavings floating on the surface of your drink, and then use a butane torch to light it.

Whooosh.



Through the fire and the flames we carry on.

After it's burned itself out, it's ready to drink.
You'll feel buzzed and tipsy, and very blissful after consumption.

Enjoy!



~Kitten

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This drink sounds amazing.

I just want to say that I genuinely enjoy your work and all the posts you produce. I enjoy that no matter what the subject matter is, you always retain a little of your own voice throughout the post, and it makes it more personable and easy to read. Your writing is awesome and I also really like that you write about such a wide variety of subjects so people don't get bored. Thanks for sharing and keep it up! :)

i like to drink coffee in the morning. hehe will try this

Will be tried tonight! :-D

Interesting mixture!

Thank you.

But the truth is that this isn't really a mixture.

It's its own thing, only, it's more simple for you, the reader, if I break it up like this, as if it was a mixture.

Holy crap. I've loved Turkish coffee AND enjoyed white russians for years, and this never occurred to me. I just followed you because of this recipe.

Oh man, that looks amazing. One question though, what the hell is everclear?

Everclear is a really strong alcohol. 150+ proof.

Right that makes sense, I was wondering how you got it to burn :)

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