How to know the date you had cancer
Cancer can cause physical and emotional changes, which can make dating seem an almost impossible activity. You may be afraid to mention your cancer diagnosis with a potential date and wonder how this news can affect your perception of you. Whether you are in remission, under treatment, or have just received the diagnosis, cancer does not define it. You still deserve love and intimacy. While it is normal to have fears about dating, intimacy and sexuality after cancer, you should not avoid dating someone and finding love.
Review or explain your reasons for wanting to leave. Understanding why appointments are important to you at this stage of your life will help you explain it to someone else, including your date. This is especially important if you have just received the diagnosis or are in the middle of the treatment. While it is completely understandable that you want to continue living your normal life, clarifying your motivations is a great first step.
What made you decide to start dating now?
If you were dating someone before receiving your diagnosis, what makes you worry about telling them?
What concerns do you have about sharing your diagnosis?
Use your support network. If you belong to a support group for cancer survivors, ask them how they managed to get out after their diagnosis. Ask them how their experiences have been, how they have revealed and when they have revealed. It may be useful to get advice and comments from other people who have had similar experiences
If you do not belong to a support group, consider joining one or participating in an online support group and posting the question. Many people are happy to share their experiences with you and encourage you.
Practice disclosure with a friend. If you are nervous about disclosing your cancer to a date, practice timely disclosing it with someone you trust. While you can not control someone's reaction, you can control the way you provide the news. Decide in advance what you want to say and how you want to say it. Creating a plan can help calm your nerves and make you feel more comfortable with your words.
Keep it short and simple. It can be overwhelming for your appointment to get the full history of your cancer diagnosis, treatment and care. Consider the possibility of practicing a response of no more than a minute and a half. You can always go into more details later.
Build your confidence Having cancer can make you feel less confident than before your diagnosis and dating can be a daunting task. Remind yourself of your positive qualities and the traits you have to offer a potential partner. If you did hobbies before your diagnosis, check back or try new ones to start feeling like yourself again.
Do not let cancer define you. Focus on your talents, interests and achievements outside of cancer.
If you have difficulty accepting your body image or have difficulty coping with the emotional impacts of cancer, consider seeing a mental health therapist. You can analyze your feelings, think more positively and learn to deal with stress more effectively.
Put on your shoes. Think about how it might be to receive news that a possible love interest has had cancer. If the person is anxious to get married, start a family and grow old with a partner, they may feel threatened by the possibility of a relapse, potential problems of procreation or transmission of cancer to a child. Remember that these may be valid concerns for someone and they could respond with these fears
While you may feel hurt by your response, remember that everyone is entitled to their own feelings and wishes for the future.
Knowing why you want to start dating now can help you discuss these fears and concerns with them.
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