"A Failure Life- My Random Thoughts"

I sit beside my friend. I have money in my hands but it can't save him. I hate this life, a worthless life. I am just a burden to this earth. A boy for the sake of food and money runs hard all day and night and can do nothing when he really has to do something important. I try not to let others feel that i don't count. to. Though poor and orphan, i am as good as other in the world. I hate this world which no sympathy over the poor and needy ones. I always pray god not to make children, if they have to be orphan; live on roads, lead a losers life which eats them alive and be a servant of his master. Do give people a heart that knows love, sympathy and knows an orphan. Let know others die an untimely death.

I am alive and happy in my world. I have my life and it is all on my own. Days are long, i live it hard. Nights are much longer. I strive against them hard to make them comfortable. For most people in the world, ' Morning shows the day', but for me their are no new mornings and hence no new days dares to come to me.

My life isn't a bed of roses but is like hard times in the meal. Every morning i get up early and find myself admits the crowd with my comrade on our own way to let down our hunger. Then whether dead or alive, an alarm would ring breaking my heart. Won't it be enough to so when i have to work all day and when at night to get a little to eat and spend it shivering and fighting as in the battle field in hot summer to be safe from the parasites around? Every night i dream a beautiful house, friend and a mother. And that is the commonest dream with uncommon wisher, and rosy hopes.

I love bright frozen days of December when i stand far out in the country, clad in rags that always make me feel warm. I have no time to stand and stare to look what is happening outside my world. What i am? I am not sure. Sometimes i follow people as heavily e encumbered porter along the footpaths, over the hill. Sometime i clean Mercedes and Toyota. I saw food in hotels i mostly exploit myself in my so called daily work at mill.

Few years ago, i had a friend. He was with me since i found myself on the roads; as my shadow and as a stick to support me every step that i would that i would totter on my feet. He was an apple of my eye. I remembered him stealing food for my hunger. We met tow halves of a loaf of bread when we have nothing to eat. Once i broke some instrument in mill and he committed that he did it and was hardly beaten by master. He knew to take the bull by the horn and his fingers would always crossed for me. These are just example to show he was a real friend indeed.

He felt sick from the day he rolled down from the hill with a luggage as big as twice the size of himself. The condition became worst and he began unable to stand and use to just lie down all day and night i was proved to useless at that time. I went to my master for help instead i was expelled. I begged on the roads but how the beggars could help me. I didn't live a single way on crossed to help my friend but i was helpless.

And the last way was the ultimate way that i realized to be there. I needed money that was all i could see. And i climbed up into the house of my master and stole a bundle of paper money and ran away. But it was my hard luck that my master saw me running out of his house, somehow i reached him with a doctor who said it was late and he would not be able to save him. I sat by him. He was most probably taking his last breath. His flesh melted an eyes sunk in. In few hours, it would be all over. He waved as if he was trying to say something and i sensed that i would be the one man army again. It was the hardest parting and god might have wept on that scene. He was about to take his last breath. I stood helpless with the bundle of money in my hand, waiting for him to breathe his last breath and waiting for my master to come with the police and i preparing myself to fight the next front.

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Thank you for your time!
@bindu