FALSE EQUATION IN THE SEARCH FOR IDENTITY

I have learned that people who appear to have it all together can on the outside may not have it all together on the outside. Often what we show on the outside is a false front designed to disguise who we really are, and we cover up the negative feelings we have about ourselves. The world would have us believe that if we appear attractive or perform well or enjoy a certain amount of status, then we will have it all together inside us well. That is not always true however, external appearance , accomplishment and recognition don’t necessarily reflect or produce – internal peace and maturity.

In his book “The sensation of Being somebody” Maurice Wagner expresses this false belief in simple equation we tend to accept. He says we mistakenly think that good appearance plus the admiration it brings equal a whole person or we feel that good appearance plus the accomplishment equal a whole person, or we believe that a certain amount of status plus the recognition we accumulate equal a whole person not so. These equations are no more correct than two plus two equal six Wagner says. Try as we might by our appearance, performance or social status to find self-verification for a sense of being somebody, we always come short of satisfaction. Whatever pinnacle of self-identity we achieve soon crumbles under the pressure of hostile rejection or criticism, introspection or guilt, fear or anxiety. We cannot do anything to qualify for the by-product of being loved unconditionally and voluntarily.
Written by me
@ayo-steve

Picture designed by me
@ayo-steve