BAD ADVICE: Just Be Yourself? | with James Marshall

Here at Infinite Man, we're all about promoting social freedom to help you be the best YOU.

Especially if you are looking to attract a partner, being yourself is crucial. But what happens when we confuse social freedom for "faking it 'till you make it"?

Spoiler Alert: YOU WON'T MAKE IT
 
It's absurd to fake it and be a dude that tricks some woman into having sex with you for one night. It's so empty and yucky and my god it's just it's horrible.

It's horrible what men are doing to themselves in destroying their integrity. They're moving further and further away from their truth and authenticity just to have a sexual experience with a woman who they perceive to be theirs.

In today's video, Infinite Man Summit 2018 speaker and creator of The Natural Lifestyles; James Marshall, makes a great point on how men need to move past the seduction techniques and fakeness in order to learn to be the right "self" to attract a woman. 

I  think we've been warning guys about this kind of thing forever. We always had some sense that it's bigger than just learning a technique.That's why I called my company The Natural Lifestyles. I was looking at what the holistic things are that make a man attractive. I didn't know the complete answer back then, but I knew for certain that having something in your life other than pick-up and not trying to pretend to be someone you're not when when doing the seduction was going to be better overall for you.

I could certainly see we've been around a lot of very bizarre characters over the years. From the days when you used to hang out with Mystery, through to pick-up conferences we used to go to - all the weirdos that came in try to get inside our lives. Learning seduction can certainly lead you down a path; twisting you into a very bizarre caricature of yourself to create further layers and masks of BULLSHIT.

Some guys get kind of good at that and they can actually succeed in the sense they can hustle girls into bed whilst wearing masks but then they need to just maintain because the glue keeps slipping.

They have to keep reapplying this weird, bullshit representation of what they THINK should be attractive in order to trick drunk girls into thinking they're cool for one night. Which eventually the only person that can maintain that is someone who's sociopathic.

I'm really wary of holding judgment of people in general, but particularly you and I understand the pain and lack of affection and faith that a lot of men that work with us have had.

Coming from broken families or coming from situations where they've just been ignored their entire life because they're techie nerdy guys or because they're not the hottest guys. Men can be just invisible their entire lives and they can slip through cracks for decades.

Even in fairly good case scenarios with just normal guys, the good looking or average looking, that they can go through a year without a woman touching them or they can have these situations where over and over again a girl is sort of in their orbit and then slips through their fingers.

So I'm very sympathetic to that situation and I understand that a big part of what they have to do is that they need to come to terms with themselves, but they ALSO need to go out and understand the science of the way human beings interact and operate.

That's going to involve to some degree operating in a robotic way or operating in a contrived way because they have to try on new behaviors. They have to try speaking with a louder voice if they've never done that. Or try holding holding eye-contact if they've never done that before. Things that will be unnatural to them in the sense that it's not the way they've done them before, but it doesn't mean that they're forcing themselves to be someone totally different.

So there is a fine line where “be yourself” is good advice and really bad advice depending on the situation.

If you've got a guy who's "self" is covered over with all this fear and reactivity in disassociation and resentments and all these other things, that IS himself on one level and that's not the self that's going to help attract women. So he needs to allow himself to be something other than that to see what else he could be.

He has to let aspects of himself dissolve or die or change so that he gets closer to uncovering what is his true power. 

 This guy knows how to speak to the SOUL!

Check out the video of this chat below, and be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel for the full, hour-long video!

If you want to get the full-body experience that is James Marshall, join us at Infinite Man Summit 2018 in Lisbon, Portugal.

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