DEPRESSION- A Lonely Road

DEPRESSION-A Lonely Road.

Pixabay

I lay on my bed gazing at the ceiling, loneliness has murdered sleep. The pain is back, this time more intense, I feel like my heart is about to be ruptured out from my chest. The noise, the chatter, the laughter and all the beautiful faces, all gone.

The smile was a facade. Beneath is a troubled soul stuck in the ocean thrashing around trying to keep herself afloat. I'm back in my shadows, even the moon's crystal glow is not enough to illuminate my darkened soul. The pain again, crushing my ribs and this time I let the tears fall freely like a waterfall cascading down my eyelids to the soft pillow under my head. Perhaps it would wash away these pain, my fears, my failure- oh! My loneliness.

This feeling has become too familiar yet too strange. I wonder if anyone sees beyond the beautiful make up to the sunken eyes. Do they hear beyond the sweet scent of my laughter? A bridesmaid the 15th time. This is certainly my calling. When shall I walk down the aisle dressed in white?

The ghost of my past comes parading once more. "It is all your fault ", they scream at me, "you had your chances and you blew it". "You are a failure. It is your fault you lost your job, it is your fault you are positive, it is your fault...." the voices trailed off. I need to quieten these demons. Maybe I should just drown myself in the bath tub. Nobody will miss me, nobody loves me. If only I would wake up tomorrow and it will all be a nightmare. No! I need to end this. I have lost my reason to live.

Yesterday was Stach Spoken word contest held on the stach discord channel and the above text was my entry into the contest.

Thecontest is quite simple. Every week a post is dropped containing the theme of the contest. Participants then come up with a poem or a short story/prose using the theme. Then during the show, contestants introduce themselves, tell us what the theme means to them and then share their entry on voice.

It was an amazing show last night with about 10 contestants. All spoken words were beautiful. The following contestants had beautiful entries; @dawizy, @bookoons, @francistagbo, @johntagbo, @flames, @chireerocks, @lizbethk @precchyrukky, @warpedpoetic, @julietisrael etc. Others that were there to cheer us up were @itoroarchibong, @imbigdee, @mizdais, @segunreus, @oredebby, @gentencored @chinyerevivian and @surfyogi. It was a night of bliss as poetic talents were displayed.

To know more about this contest check this link.
@winarobert is the host of the discord spoken word and co-hosts with the beautiful @julietisrael. @surfyogi is the sponsor for this amazing contest and more sponsors are still needed.

Join us every Tuesday by 8pm on Stach

yours truly

@zyzymena