I am adoped – Feeling worthy of being loved!

I am writing this on behalf of ‘Brad’ and in the entire article ‘I’ refers to Brad.

I was so terrified to death when I got to know about my adoption. As a greedy kid, I never desired to share my parents with anyone and I am sort of sensitive too; a little more than average people. It was a hard time when my elder sister told me about my adoption. We were kids and she wasn’t sure what she was telling me about. She still regrets for sharing those pieces of information which she thinks should have been kept secret throughout. I was crushed into bits and I felt like my entire life was a mistake. I was getting all the flashbacks when I used to tease my sister that she gets less attention from Mom because she is adopted but I didn’t know it was me who was blessed with it.

I instantly went to my Mom to confront her and to let tell her that I know the reality now. I had nearly cried to my heart; it came as a permanent shock to me. I was undergoing varied reactions; I was extremely hurt and at the same time I was angry. I was annoyed as reality was hidden from me for so long.

I was carrying anger for my biological parent as well as for my adoptive family. Part of the reason my biological parents chose to permit me to be adopted is because they hoped I would be raised in a loving home with two parents and, hopefully, even a sibling or two. And my adoptive family is the one who took me away from my natural parents. I wanted to search for my natural parents to let them know that I hate them from sincere part of my heart.

I was about to face my parents. It was in no time that I realized how selfish I had become. While they loved and supported me the best they knew how, there was nothing they could do to take away my pain. Because they were doing all they could and I love them for it. The love, support, and comfort of my family was unbelievable, but it can’t take away a hurt that has a different source.

And, I distinguished that my biological parents did what they assumed was best and it’s not my intent to hurt them when I write. I know they believe I was “raised well”. While we’ll never know what my life would have been like with one or both of them, I am self-assured I’ve had a great life with my adoptive family.

I am not so sure why I chose to write about my situation here and to bring out whatever I had inside my heart. I’ve truly had people tell others about me, “you can know her, but never really know her.” So, this whole procedure is difficult for me. I do have faith in writing helps me. I hope it helps others. Now I realized that my life will never end. My last breath on earth will be my first in Heaven.

My life is a true blessing!