It's time for Sushi! ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿฃ

in #sushi โ€ข 3 years ago

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I significant other leave before or after making this? If before, this is understandable. Itโ€™s hard to roll sushi when crying. If after, well thatโ€™s understandable too. Look at what an incompetent mess youโ€™ve created.

Sushi is literally one of the easiest foods to prepare and it be edibleโ€ฆ WHERE DID I GO SO WRONG?

  1. why is the tofu so wet?
  2. where is the goddamn rice?
  3. how do I unsee this?

Where is the rice?

I am not going to roast this badly, just a little bit: the trick to make it look yummy is how you cut the roll, you need to wet the knife so it doesnโ€™t go all wonky and sticky.

I would rather dig out a corps & suck the rotten fluids & beetles outta its ass before I ate this.

I get it, I totally get it. You're just showing off that your sexual prowess is so perfectly on par that you can do WTF with a Nori wrap and get away with it LIKE A BOSS.

DAMN, girl, you must be rockin' the whole dang trailer park if you didn't even make some sushi rice.

I try making this on acid or shrooms like how did i mess up sooo bad ๐Ÿ˜….
This definitely doesnโ€™t look vegan. I'm sure thatโ€™s not a dead animal of some sort?

"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what a walking cane looks like when it is cut into pieces. Look closely, but be careful, as those edges are sharp and could cut you!"

You may ask Is that peri peri sauce? Nah, spicy mayo.Thatโ€™s better then haha! I do love sriracha mixed with Mayo.

[KR]

๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ธฐ ์ „์ด๋‚˜ ํ›„์— ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํœด๊ฐ€? ์ „์— ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด,์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šธ ๋•Œ ์ดˆ๋ฐฅ์„ ๊ตด๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ›„ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ,์ž˜ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜์žˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งŒ๋“  ๋ฌด๋Šฅํ•œ ์—‰๋ง์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

์ดˆ๋ฐฅ์€ ๋ง ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ์ค€๋น„ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์‰ฌ์šด ์Œ์‹ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜์ด๋ฉฐ ์‹์šฉ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋””๋กœ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์ž˜๋ชป ๊ฐ”์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?

  1. ๋‘๋ถ€๊ฐ€ ์™œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์ –์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
  2. ๋นŒ์–ด ๋จน์„ ๋ฐฅ์€ ์–ด๋”” ์žˆ๋‹ˆ?
  3. ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ’€ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?

์Œ€์€ ์–ด๋””์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?

์„ ๊ตฝ์ด ์‹ฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ,๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์กฐ๊ธˆ:์† ๋ณด์ด๊ฒŒํ•˜๋Š” ๋ง›์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์ž˜๋ผ ๋กค ํ•„์š”๋ฅผ ์ –์€ ์นผํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋„๋ก ๋ชจ๋“  ๋‚จ์•˜๊ณ  ๋ˆ์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

๋‚˜๋Š” ์ฐจ๋ผ๋ฆฌ ๊ตฐ๋‹จ์„ ํŒŒํ—ค ์น˜๊ณ  ์ฉ์€ ์ฒด์•ก๊ณผ ๋”ฑ์ •๋ฒŒ๋ ˆ๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋จน๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์—‰๋ฉ์ด์—์„œ ๋นจ์•„ ๋จน์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.

๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป๋Š”๋‹ค,๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์™„์ „ํžˆ ์–ป๋Š”๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๋Š” ์„ฑํ˜„์€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํŒŒ์— ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” WTF ์œผ๋กœ ๊น€ ํฌ์žฅ๊ณ ๋ฆฌ:๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

์  ์žฅ,์ดˆ๋ฐฅ๋„ ์•ˆ ๋งŒ๋“ค์—ˆ ์œผ๋ฉด ๋Œ• ํŠธ๋ ˆ์ผ๋Ÿฌ ๊ณต์› ์ „์ฒด๋ฅผ ํ”๋“ค์–ด์•ผํ•œ๋‹ค.

๋‚˜๋Š” sooo bad๐Ÿ˜…๋ฅผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์—‰๋ง์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€์™€ ๊ฐ™์€ ์‚ฐ์„ฑ ๋˜๋Š” shrooms ์— ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•œ๋‹ค.
์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ํ™•์‹คํžˆ ์™„์ „ ์ฑ„์‹์œผ๋กœ ๋ณด์ด์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ์ฃฝ์€ ๋™๋ฌผ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๊ณ  ํ™•์‹ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?

"๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์‹ ์‚ฌ ์ˆ™๋…€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„,๊ฑท๋Š” ์ง€ํŒก์ด๊ฐ€ ์กฐ๊ฐ์œผ๋กœ์ž๋ฅผ ๋•Œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฒผ๋Š”์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ž์„ธํžˆ ๋ณด๋ฉด,ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ๊ฐ€์žฅ์ž๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋‚ ์นด ๋กญ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์„์ž๋ฅผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฏ€๋กœ ์กฐ์‹ฌํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค!"

๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ ํŽ˜๋ฆฌ ํŽ˜๋ฆฌ ์†Œ์Šค์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? ์•„๋‹ˆ,๋งค์šด ๋งˆ์š”.๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋” ๋‚˜์€ ๋‹ค์Œ ํ•˜ํ•˜! ๋‚˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ ์Šค๋ฆฌ ๋ผ์ฐจ ๋งˆ์š”์™€ ํ˜ผํ•ฉ

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