Discussing difficult topics on the Internet - NOOOOOO
Personally, I like to talk about hard topics - I always have, but I nearly never get mad at people for having a different opinion on something than me, it seems that some are highly offended by you having a different opinion. Anyhow in today's climate maybe the first piece of advice should be:
DO NOT DO IT - Don't talk to any of your friends and family about difficult topics! :)
It is unlikely you are going to follow that tip, so let us move on.Ever get over-involved in a topic and find yourself fighting with people or having negative feelings when an "Internet Debate" is over? Maybe you are participating in the fight and not the discussion.Here are some quick tips to keeping the conversation moving forward without fighting.
- Don't try to make others accept your point of view, just share your view and why it matters to you.
- Define terms with questions. "What do you mean when you say gun control?" What kind of gun control specifically?
- Acknowledge good points or truths in the other person's argument. "I completely agree with your point on... __"
- Ask yourself if you are sharing ideas or frustrated that others are not accepting your point of view. Check your emotional state.
- Use facts and stats vs. emotional words
- If the conversation starts to go poorly consider whether the topic is more important to you. You can end the discussion or put it off for another day. "Let's revisit this topic tomorrow", I have to go walk the dog."
- Focus on what the other person's intent is instead of the exact words they use to express it.
- Know when to let it go. Sometime it is okay to agree to disagree even when the topic feels important to you.
If you aren't already trying some of these things, give them a try and let me know how it goes.
Actually, I find that SteemIt has an above average user-base and we are not as prone here to breaking out in "full asshat" debate mode very often, maybe I should have posted this on Facebook instead. :)
What are strategies do you utilize for discussing difficult topics on the Internet?
Hi @whatsup, This is awesome:
I've been involved in debating online a lot. Most of the times, it was a waste of time with no positive outcome involved. The above mentioned points are really helpful.
Steem On!
When people say it is a waste of time, sometimes it means that you had a goal, often to change someone else's mind.
It is never a waste of time if you are just interested in the topic and understanding other points of view.
@whatup, This is true if only both the sides keep it in view:
Before you get discouraged by the fact that someone dumped a lot of dirt, understand: this person found time, spent it specifically to tell you his opinion. He found you, noticed and appreciated the product that you did. Well, yes, he hates you. But you took his time, because he spends minutes to talk about his hatred.
Even if you do not answer anything (and you should not), you won. He does not want to know anything about you, but you're already on his radar. And then, if someone expresses dissatisfaction, this is the maximum that can happen. Life goes on, the Earth still turns, someone has taken offense, and you have become smarter.
Ha, great point, this person who hates me took the time to tell me.
You must always be educated and have tact's feelings. If you think that you can offend a person with your opinion, it is better to choose words that he would understand and not be offended.
I don't get offended very often. I've been having my first experience with it recently. lol. It is an interesting feeling.
Nice post. I've actually made some friends by having opposing ideas discussed in such a way that one respects the opinions of the other. We are not all the same and we all have different backgrounds, which means our experiences and reasons for thinking one way or another will be different. By having respectful discussions, it broadens our perception of the world. If we all agreed with each other, there really wouldn't BE anything to discuss and our views on any given topic will be stagnant.
I have huge areas of disagreement with some of my friends. Opinions... usually are just opinions. :)
Opinions are simply a personal way of judging something and disagreeing with established friends is one thing, but to actually create a friendship out of a disagreement is quite another. I'm actually pleasantly surprised at the quality of people here on Steem. How often do you hear of a disagreement turning into a friendship? I think that is quite rare. And that is one MORE reason why I love this place.
Great points - this is Steemit not Fakebook or Youtub so I usually take it easy round here because I got over arguing years ago and am looking for a more agreeable time.
Except for vaxxers and zionists, sometimes I let rip on those fuckers :)
lol... Arguing can be fun, but rarely productive. And your comment made me laugh.
totally agreed with your points. All the people are not same and they have different opinion. The important thing we should respect others voice, but we have decide what is right and wrong .
Cheers!
It is ourselves, we answer to most often. I find discussion helps me to clarify my views.
You bring up a great point, many situations in communication call for simply listening, understanding, and grasping the others point of view. Solely is it ever about being "in the right." People want to be heard and accepted online or off. When I am listening to a difficult topic or discussing one, I start by acknowledging the issue at hand, and follow up with questions, and simple but positive suggestions. I hardly condemn others, and allow them to have "more info" to ponder on.
Just because we're behind screens doesn't mean our feelings are digital too.
Yeah, I think online sometimes we develop an agenda to "explain" to others why they are wrong.
I can see that. Being a dick to someone in person can lead to physical fights. It's like having a screen in front of us instead of a person makes it easier to prove a point without dealing with negative reprecussions. There needs to be as much ettiquette online as IRL, but a lot of times that isn't the case.
Thank you again for this thought provoking read, everyone communicates differently and it's important to be aware of that.
@whatsup,
Those tips are actually useful! People are different, so we should understand it and it might help us to avoid troubles as well!
Cheers~
I think my strategy for discussing serious topics is similar with yours. One thing sure am not shy of discussing serious topics.
This is very effective problem with me.Something if i see diffcult, i want to discuss with my family.And my family made me mad by showing me the fault .nice post.