Weed & Alcoholism: A Better Way to “Dry Out”

I�ve always liked to drink. As a teenager, I began sneaking hard liquor out of my Grandmother�s pantry. She used it to cook with, and being that she was old and pretty immobile, it was pretty easy to get my hands on as much as I wanted. I�ve never liked beer, but by the time I was a Sophomore in High School, I was drinking just as much beer and malt liquor as I was the hard stuff. Of course, my friends at the time were nothing, if not enablers, as well. And I�d been able to keep the fact that I was drinking pretty much day and night from my family, my teachers, and anyone who could have stopped me. I was smart, an honor student, and very sneaky, so I don�t really blame the adults in my life for not noticing, although it has been suggested to me that maybe I should.

I was able to stop drinking for years after High School, through sheer force of will. But that all changed when my father died from a cardiac event, right in front of me. I performed CPR on him for at least half an hour before the EMTs got there. I couldn’t get him to start breathing again, and neither could they. It gave me a type of PTSD and I went sort of numb for at least a year after that. It’s not exactly rational, but I felt responsible that he’d died. It might have even been some sort of survivor’s remorse. Whatever it was, it messed me up and I couldn’t emote, at all.

It also didn’t help anything that my mother pretty much just lost her shit. She didn’t help me plan the funeral, make the arrangements, help me find pictures for the sideshow, clean the house for well-wishers or anything. Furthermore, she wasn’t eating, bathing or taking her medications. She wouldn’t answer the phone, go outside, take care of her dogs, or even change her clothes. So, it was up to me to do everything on my own. After the funeral, it kind of got worse because things around the house would break, and I’d have to be the one to fix it, maintain it or call a handyman. Doing literally everything and being in charge of a human being with a lot of health problems, while also dealing with your own