Five Key Skills To Learn In Life After University (And The Books To Learn These Skills)

The Lessons I Learned Fumbling My Way Through Life After University

Back in university, I worked as a Residence Advisor. As a Residence Advisor, my responsibility was to be the 'leader' of the floor. I monitored quiet hours during exam season. I organized social events for the students in the residences. I held meetings with the students to let them know of the different events happening and to answer any questions they had.

One day, I was working on a poster and I noticed a fellow Residence Advisor working on what looked like a poster that described how laundry was done. The students in his residence had never done the laundry before! You would think this is a skill that everyone knows, but for some of these students, they had no idea what soap to use, to separate the whites and colours, the laundry wash cycles and what they mean, or not putting in certain fabrics into the dryer. As he explained why he was creating this poster, I and a few other RAs started chuckling, but it made me think about how much I took for granted while living at home.

Fast forward a few years later, and I was living by myself in an apartment in a new city. Reflecting back on my first few years out of university (which was in my home town so it was easy to go home and get my laundry done or to get food prepped and ready to eat), I have come a long way from my university life where I was quite frankly, pampered.

Here are the skills that I had to learn (and found useful) after university:

Understanding investments, savings, mortgages and other financial concepts

The one thing I wish I did earlier in my life was to learn about investing, savings, mortgages and really how to save and invest money. Back then, I remember that my 'financial management' consisted of spending less than I earned, but I did not think to invest my savings into index funds or stocks.

Even though the book is focused towards a US audience, the one book that I believe gives you a no nonsense look at how to save and invest money is I will teach you to be rich by Ramit Sethi.

Cooking

You can only survive so many days and nights on mac and cheese, or ramen. Luckily for me, I had watched my Mom cooking family dinners so I picked up a few concepts. And the great thing about cooking is that if you mess up, you will immediately know.

Tim Ferriss' The Four Hour Chef is not a cook book per se, but more of a book that uses cooking as a way to teach you how to learn. His tip: braising or slow cooking is an easy way to cook delicious meals and are great for beginners because they are really hard to mess up. You can undercook it, but all you have to do is cook it a little longer. Both of these methods make it hard to overcook. I purchased a slow cooker, threw in a pork shoulder, some root vegetables (potatoes, carrots) and then filled it with barbeque sauce and my lunches and dinners were ready in a few hours, with minimal washing or attention.

Networking

I was lucky coming out of university. One of my hobbies was attending Toastmasters. Since Toastmasters is a global organization, I sought out a Toastmaster club after moving to a new city. With that said, I believe pursuing what you already like is a great way to meet new individuals. If you want to meet new people and like playing soccer, find a soccer club in your city. I went in to my first Toastmaster meeting stating that I wanted to network with other individuals (that is, just meet and connect with other individuals), and I was fortunate to meet a super-connector (someone that has vast network and enjoys connecting individuals from their network) that helped to accelerate me meeting new people.

If you want to meet new people, ask yourself: what hobbies do you enjoy? What are things that you do in your free time? How can you find similar-minded people? One book that I really enjoyed learning about networking (and other social skills) was Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards. In it, she covers how to go to networking events, join and leave group conversations, and ways to be a social butterfly, even if you are an introvert.

Negotiating

Negotiating is a skill that I have found infinitely useful. Any time you are in a conversation with someone, you are likely in some form of negotiation, whether it is with a partner, purchasing or selling goods, or even with your boss or coworkers. Learning how to negotiate (which I regret not learning earlier) is really a combination of micro-skills including conversation, research and analysis, empathy, controlling your emotions, reading body language, understanding timing and more.

I really enjoyed Chris Voss' Masterclass on negotiating, but I really enjoy Herb Cohen's book You can negotiate anything, which gives you tips and real situations (with the exact words that you would use) to teach negotiation.

Being happy with what you have

This is a weird 'skill' to learn, but one that I wish I learned earlier. Coming out of university and starting to work at an organization, I was at the bottom trying to work my way up. As you talk with your coworkers, money and salary starts to enter the discussion in different ways. When I worked at Deloitte, we often talked about how much the clients were making, how much the partners were making and what we would do with that much money. This then became comparing ourselves to each other (and to the people above us) and this then became the mindset of "how can I get ahead so that I can get more 'stuff'". All of the 'stuff' that we wanted became success markers. Here are some of the things that I heard from coworkers:

After buying the BMW, I'll be ecstatic.

Once I get to mid six figure salary, I'll be happy.

Success can be defined in different ways. But happiness, I would argue, does not come from buying and owning certain things. I myself can look around my home and see all the things that I spent money on, but no longer use. My close friend, when he moved into a new home, told me that his wife could do whatever she wanted with the home, as long as he had a bed and wifi.

What are the essential things in your life that you really need? A laptop? Some clothing? A smart phone? Really think hard whether you need multiple TVs or if you stream everything from your tablet. Really consider if you need that fancy patio furniture when you hate the sun. Part of being 'rich' is about spending money, maybe even an obscene amount of money, on the things that you love.

Here, I would recommend Greg McKeown's book Essentialism, which teaches you the mindset of how to pursue (and be happy and satisfied with) less in life.