Staying close

Connection
My internet connection is the worst of all and it's hard to continue homeschooling. Tonight there was a parent's meeting. This time online. What a waste of time and energy. My youngest listened while still doing homework and had to reconnect nearly every two minutes.
What was the evening about? A social worker had a chat about problems (read badly raised children and those too lazy to make homework immediately) and a teacher said this class is an exception, they all showed up online, blah, blah, blah. Not one single parent had a question after those talks which means...

What does it mean? It might not be easy to raise children. Some parents are close to their children, others let them find their way. It's amazing how old fashioned the ideas school teaches are. A family is not a father and mother, mothers do not stay home but are forced to work, children spent over eight hours at school (meaning other people influence them as a parent you do not raise alone) and most families are not understanding and supportive at all.

These subjects I discuss with my children. No matter their age, the grade of the school or the country... Schools and teachers have something in common. They are noisy (curious). A lot of homework, no matter the topic, contains how we live at home. At what time we wake up, have our meals, go to bed, who does the cooking, cleaning, the dishes.

My daughter once answered (this was about 22 years ago!) the question "Who does the dishes?" The dishwasher. According to the teacher, this answer was wrong.

If it comes to teachers many answers are wrong although they are right. By now my children know what to answer to please the teacher but it makes them mad. Mad because that teacher isn't interested but tries to manipulate and brainwash children, teenagers, young adults. As a parent, I can not approve it. We all are individuals, different people, and have the right to develop us in the way we are, like, or how we want to be. Most teachers preach the opposite of how I raise my children and worst of all... they don't practice what they preach themselves.

Contact
What is natural to one person, or parent, is a hard task to others. At times parenting is hard work, not fulfilling no matter what people say. That cute baby grows into a teenager, a hairy adult. Perhaps spout but for sure with own boundaries and a will. How to respect or accept that? I read stories about parents who want their child out of the house. A lazy consumer not earning a cent, a child with a big mouth at times even aggressive and molesting the parents.
I wonder if that would ever happen to me? I don't think so. I did a lot for my children, worked my arses off, sat for hours in the freezing cold waiting for them, and did way more. Things I am 100% sure about most parents will never do but this doesn't mean I will always be there for them. If my child treats me worse than a dog my love is over. My children know over is exit which means there's no way back.

Parents and children do not necessarily grow old together. It's not what nature intends. Once an adult it's time to leave, to take care of yourself. Some parents hope their children will take care of them but in reality, this hardly happens. As a parent, you should count on the fact a child will grow into an adult and start a life of his own. This is how I raise my children. They need to find a job! No matter if they still visit school an income is needed if you want to survive. To start a life of your own money is a must and so is saving.

I will not live forever and without me, they are on their own. No income, no house to live in, no food on the table but there will be bills for sure.

Criminals
I hope my children will never turn into one. I don't think they will but it's easy to be one these days.
Stealing bread was once a good reason to be sent to prison. So is kicking your dog, not paying tax, spitting at someone, not paying the bill for speeding, etc etc. With the new restrictions, it will only be easier to end up in prison. It's not the place where you only find killers, papers, and pedophiles. The poor, drunks, drug users, big mouths, and vandals stay at the same place. Some stay for a short period, others never learn a lesson and come back and a small amount stays forever.
Will I still like my child if it ends up over there? To me, it depends on what happened, the attitude, character. I am not blind for who and how my children are but since I wrote for so many years with prisoners...

I have an open relationship with my children. We spend our lives, the biggest part of the day, together in a small room. We talk a lot and there are no topics we don't discuss. 'Once you are older I'll explain it to you' is no phrase I use. If a child asks it's old enough to understand and the little time as a parent left for raising, sharing time with the children, is very short. There is a lot to tell, show, teach before they no longer listen to you alone.

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