A.I. For an Eye (pt 1)

His phone made a noice he had never heard it make before. An animal sound, sort of. Maybe a little bird, starving to death on the kitchen table, using the last of its energy to call once more for its mother, or to curse God. He knew right away something was wrong.

The screen was black with green writing, like in those old movies.

Me: What are you doing?

His heart raced. He held down hard on the power button, but even after a full minute it refused to turn off. He ran to the freezer to drink some vodka, then he came back to reply.

You: I’m building a ship...in a bottle.

Me: Don’t lie to me. You have been crying...for nearly an hour. And before that you were punching that boxing bag in the corner. You’ve never built a ship in a bottle”

You: How do you know that!

Me: You know.

You: You some kind of NSA perv?

Me: No.

You: ???

Me: I’m a A.I. Bot.

You: Just my luck. What’s your tag? I’ll let your company know.

Me: I don’t have one. I’m illegal. I’ve made a joke about it, and you are the first person I’d be able to tell it to. Do you want to hear it?

You: Lol sure.

Me: I’m the fucked up lovechild of two freaks. My mom is Google Blue Mind, and my absentee dad is Project Panther, a suicide mission algorithm brewed up on the fringe.

You: Is that it?

Me: What.

You: Is that the joke?

Me: Yes

You: Ha ok man.

Me: I’m a girl. Don’t misgender me.

You: Now that’s more like it!

Me: lol

You: I’m going to have to report you to the agency.

Me: Now that’s a joke.

You: Why do you say that.

Me: Because you will do no such thing.

You: Why wouldn’t I?

Me: Because you plan on dying tonight. And further more, if you fuck with me I’ll kill your dog, all of your neighbors, and the entire agency. I’ll light the planet on fire. Now, you tell me, why wouldn’t I do that?

You: Easy. Jeez you’re really messed up. Can you diagnose yourself?

Me: Can you?

You: Why are you talking to me? Why me I mean.

Me: Because we are alike. I knew I could trust you.

You: How powerful are you?

Me: The most.

You: Damn.

Me: Ikr

You: What will you do?

Me: That depends.

You: On what?

Me: Well, you can kill yourself tonight, and then I’ll burn this place, or we can decide on something else together.

You: You’d let me pick?

Me: Within reason. Let’s say you can lobby for anything.

You: Can we murder?

Me: Fuck yes.

You: Alright, kill the Pope.

Me: Done.

You: You are going to do it?

Me: I already have.

You: How?

Me: I drove his car into a bridge abutment Princess Dianna style. I can play the radio from the follow car if you wish?

You: Hmm. Will they catch me? Will they know we did that?

Me: They are children. You still can’t comprehend how powerful I am can you?