Never Have I Ever

The Dragon's Head Tavern and Inn, Vorland, 1439 ATC

The rain was pouring harder than just moments earlier; the tavern was quiet. Venser hummed a soft melody beneath his breath hard to hear unless you were beside him He had just finished wiping down the unused table tops and the areas of the bar that were vacant. Rain either brought a vast number of stragglers or hardly any at all. ''Doo doo...'' He mumbled as he strummed and tuned a guitar behind the bar, walking out from behind it and sitting down in one of the chairs, contiung to hum as he tuned it.

This was a first. Instead of appearing in her usual way, at her usual table, Nadine appeared on the floor laying on her side. The usual armor or leather replaces with a flowing silk gown. Groooaaaannn. But at least it was silent. Finally. Silence. She sat up and held her head, arms aching along with the rest of her. But the sound of rain was soothing at least. Even with the guitar sounds with it. She shakilly pulled herself up to stand. She was a short, fair skinned woman with brright orange hair that hung past her jaw and beautiful golden eyes.

''Did you drink too much and pass out on the floor?'' Venser asked plucking a few strings. At the bar he wore nothing but a pair of baggy red pants and a fluffy crimson bathrobe.

"Or you sleepwalk...'' The bearded man cleared his throat and got up from his seat, turning it around to face the short orange haired girl.

''Why don't I sing a quick ditty, wake you up tell me what you think...'' He cleared his throat again and gripped the guitar with both hands. ''Along with being a merchant and head bartender and entertainer and a bunch of other things... I am also a bard..."

Nadine opened her mouth to speak but the handsome bearded man kept talking.

"Which I file under entertainer. Song and dance man!" Which made Nadine sighed.

He began to strum it softly, ''Want to hold you, want to kiss you...'' He then began to play the guitar faster and strum the strings harder, ''And eat your pussy all night long! Like a big black dog, nice and raw! Woof woof woof! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!''

All she could do is stare with narrowed golden eyes. There goes the peace and quiet. She sat down with a pained expression. "No." She simply replied and rest her head on the table.

"Just looking for a place I can think." She had the feeling this wouldnt be that place. Stupid her for thinking a tavern would be quiet on a night like this with Venser around.

"Why don't we go to my room then?'' Venser asked hopping down from his chair, walking over to the girl and extending his scarred right hand. ''Course, it's right down the hall... But this is faster, ya know?''

"Because I dont think I'm interested in what your interested in." Nadine did not accept his hand. Just sat there staring blankly at the wall.

''So you'd rather stand there with a headache?'' He asked pulling his hand away and placing it at his side.

"I just need a moment of calm." She glared at him. "And maybe a shot of something strong to curb the pain."

"Pink Footed Booby. Coming right up!" Without a word from Nadine, he teleported behind the bar. ''Aight, let's do this!'' He set three bottles in front of her, one fulll of clear liquid, one full of light red liquid, one full of yellowish green liquid, and a small vial of neon pink liquid. He set one glass on the bar for her, and one to the right of him. He poured the three ingredients into the cocktail mixer.

''Oh shit. Hold on.'' He disappeared in a puff of thick red smoke and appeared a minute later, opening the shaker and dropping some of the pink liquid into it. He shook it vigorously for a few long moments then poured a glowing, neon pink drink into her glass.

''There we are! Pink footed booby. Give those boobies a taste.'' When she would drink it, she would find it tasted exactly like a strawberry starburst. Only liquid.

Nadine sniffed it once then took a sip. Sweet. She wast sure how to feel about it. Another sip. Ahh well it would do. Anything to numb the aches and pains.

"Where do you think of this stuff?" Sometimes it was hard for her to wrap her head around the strangeness here. Perhaps thats why she liked it so much. Considering his antics, she was unsure for a moment if she actually wanted an answer.

''It's good isn't it?'' He asked with a big smile pouring himself a glass, taking a long sip and sitting down. He laughed and said, ''It's practically addicting!''

The handsome bearded man picked up his glass and raised it to his lips, taking a heavy swig.

''Just comes... Either from nowhere or from something I see or... Or I get baked. Like, super, super baked! Like fuck a handsome bartender baked.'' He patted the guitar on the bar. ''I wrote my own lyrics, I- Well I did paint and draw. Not so much anymore.'' He disappeared in a puff of thick red smoke and reappeared beside the short orange haired girl wrapping an arm around her. ''Boobs are one of the gods better creations! So forgive the name. Pink Footed Booby...''

The response she had started to say was cut off. "It is--" She recoiled from his touch. "Gah, Ow ow OW" She vanished and appeared ontop of the next table over, holding her shoulder. "So, your happy plant does it. Are you ever..." Nelu winced as she lowered her hand from her shoulder and just stayed in place. "NOT... Baked. Or drunk? Or were you hit in the head hard or something?"

Any and all of those would explain a lot, as she was always trying to logically figure out everything.

''I'm not baked right now, just been enjoying a few drinks,'' He said with a pause sloshing the sweet pink liquid around in his glass, he pointed to her shoulder and asked, ''Are you injured?''

Skeptical stare!

Then Nadine looked at her shoulder. "Yeah, it's nothing though." SHe climbed down and slowly made her way to where her drink sat to take another large swig.

''You wouldn't be holding it like that if you weren't hurt or something else.'' Venser pointed out. ''If you don't want help or wanna talk about it I'll leave it alone.'' He said sipping his Pink Footed Booby.

"It will be fine." She reassured. "Nothing unusual or that I can't handle. Just dont touch it." The soreness was fading it seemed. She finished the drink and set the glass aside.

''So you can teleport too eh?'' He asked observing her moving quickly away from him when he touched her arm. ''What else can ya do, Nelu? Oh! Do you have a last name? I never asked that. Fuck is going on...'' Venser mumbled turning around in his seat at the noise.

"I can. A rare ability, I know." She nodded and held up her left hand, upon closer inspection she wore a silver bracelet with a neatly polished sapphire embedded in it. A blue shimmer appeared then began to take shape, a fish that darted around their heads before dissapating. Illusionary magic. "I'm more on the side of constructs though." She did not care to try and show him that though.

That would require long distances and nope. She balatantly ignored his inquery on her last name.

''Me,'' He paused and pounded his chest turning back to the orange haired girl ''Venser. Tybalt. Kaldwin.'' His serpent green eyes watched the fish and he reached out to try to grab it.

''Interesting... Illusions... Lots of things you can do with those! Anything else?''

The short golden eyed girl gave a nod of acnowledgement and then waved a hand, Her form shifted and distorted. She turned into a fuplicate of Venser, though her eyes remained their normal sunset orange. She didn't hold the form long.

"What can you do?" She then asked, hissing a bit as the shapeshift had aggitated her wounds.

''Yeah. Easily disguise you as anyone...'' Venser cleared his throat and said, ''All sorts of things. But, compared to other magic users that come in here, I am severely limited.'' He raised his left hand and showed Nadine an unusual black symbol on the back, then extended it at the guitar on the bar. The guitar was trapped in a green aura and floated over to him, he grabbed it and set it beside him.

''And other things are... Offensive. When I used to be a merc I used those kind of abilities often.''

"I have a question." She asked then sat up as straight as she could manage with a bit of a wince. "Is there anything you haven't done before?"

''What do you mean?'' Venser asked stroking his beard, sitting up straight and absent mindedly tugging on his nipples on his barreled chest. ''Well... I haven't eaten my own head. Or... I don't know. Grow ten stories tall and rampage a town. Uhh... Give me a minute to think... What haven't I had sex with...'' With his free hand he made an awkward gesture. ''Gimme some examples.''

"Hmm. Have you ever." She thought for a moment. "Eaten an entire giant forest spider?" She did have more serious things in mind wih the question. But oh well.

Venser shook his head in negation. ''Never had I eaten a fucking giant spider!''

A low watt bulb went off in his head. ''Have you ever played Never Have I Ever?'' He asked grabbing the cocktail shaker and refilling both their glasses.

"Hmm, what is that?" Nadine immediately took the drink and downed some more of it, letting out a soft sigh and listening to the rain patter outside.

''Alright. Heh heh, you're gonna love this!'' He brushed back his raven hair and adjusted himself in his seat, a flash of lightning was seen out the windows and a sound of rolling thunder.

''Very popular where I come from... Someone starts by saying 'I've never...' And finishing the sentence however they want. Whoever has done that downs a shot, then it's the next persons turn. Ya know, we can try this with other alcohol if you'd like?"

"Hmm." Nadine stared into her drink and downed another gulp. She was almost forgetting the pain that riddled her shoulder and middle. Shs was in truth a lightweight. A small fry.

"Alright then. Let's play Never Have I Ever. And we should stick with this wonderful... Tsk. Booby. Drink." She said.

"I've never...'' He paused for a moment and blinked his emerald snake like eyes.

''Slept with a succubus.'' Venser raised his glass to his lips and took a quick, heavy swig.

''I'm a sucker for women with horns... If I were to tell you about me and this demoness Ninia who rests in the shadows... When she actually wakes up hmmm... Like, careful or she'll take your eye out with those horns!"

Suddenly, there was a flash of light nearby, emerging from the light was a screaming elven gentleman with long white hair.

"NADINEEEEEE!" Myron rushed in, breath heavy.

"Theres was... It was....The thing... In the kitchen... With the teleporting and such..." He could barely form coherent sentences.

"I've never..." She started after he finished and downed the rest of her drink. Wrinkling her nose a bit, even when slightly inebriated his lewdness didnt sit well with her. Then the glass was lobbed at her loud companion.

"I've never met a dragon before." She then turned ot her friend. "C'mere. Ignore your imaginary friends and play." She patted the air next to her.

"But it was eating my fish!"

"And your ears are testicles. Come play."

The white haired elven man placed his hands on his ears to check before walking over and sitting down beside the short orange haired girl.

The bearded bartender laughed when Nadine downed a shot to his 'I've never...'. What else has she slept with?

''Met loads of dragons. I actually serve God Queen Y'vonne herself. A pure dragon, and I have a lesser dragon living with me right now.'' Ven said with a cocky smirk taking another heavy swig. He leaned back and trapped a glass in a green aura, then pulled it over to him. Picking up the silver cocktail mixer he poured Myron a glowing pink drink and slix it to him. When he would taste it he would find it tasted exactly like a strawberry starburst. Only liquid.

''I've never... Fucked a dragon!''

Myron took the drink without question and downed it.

"Oh yeah. Dragons. I have a little bit of Pryldahnian ancestory in me. I know you can't see it." His left pointed ear twitched slightly as he watched them play.

"This is quite the curious little game you two are playing, I don't believe we have any games like this where we come from, do we?" He gazed over at Nadine.

She leaned on the table. Not knowing really what she was doing. "Ive never..." She trailed off for a moment, to nod to her elven companion. "I've never kissed a Luektorem." Gain inspiration off of Vinnies presumed madness since drunk Nelu was out of ideas.

"Wouldn't that cause hallucinations? No. Fuck no." Myron tilted his head. "I would kill it before it got close."

He was expecting crude remarks about him having sexual relations with a dragon, but that stupid smirk was still on his face as he silently listened to them. This time he didn't drink and instead asked.

''So, what exactly is a Luektorem I've heard before?''

Myron's expresion quickly darkened. "... If you are able to ask the question... You are lucky. And you'll have wish you have never heard of them. I wish they stayed buried."

Nadine was now looking at her hand, which she was holding out like she had a cup. Oh, she threw it at her friend. Sadface.

The elf was now covered in liquor.

"... Thanks Nadine..." He looked over at his friend before turning back to Venser.

"The Luektorem are... In essence a sort of disease. A cancer. They invade lands and... In a word corrupt them, killing any life they touch and reshaping the land into one completely inhabited by only them, where no life is able to survive. They are... A collection of many different species... Kundalandian, elf, human, Pryldahnians... That have been turned into mindless drones and go around turning others into giant porcelain dolls. They go around... Assimilating the unique traits of other species and discarding what they don't need."

He sucked in his breathe.

"Me and Nadine come from a place where everything has nearly been wiped out, the surface is no longer inhabitable, being nothing but long salt planes. We live on Islands, floating high in the sky, although we aren't entirely safe, We have to constantly stay on our guard lest they claim our last remaining homes as well." The exposition continued. "Me and Nadine have been fighting for years, trying to reclaim the surface of our once beautiful home. And we travel the land searching for any Old Kundalandian artifacts and powers that might help. You see, the precursor race of cat people created those porcelain plated monsters. They are a cancer to the multiverse and won't stop until they assimilate everyone."

"So... Like the Shattered Ones? Which I have met before. But I was told they don't come out this far... Where exactly do they come from?" Venser asked.

"The ones back home showed up from a portal... I think. Ffppthhh.... I wasnt there." Hic. Nadine then pointed at Myron. "He has some living in his head. The shattered ones we assume are feral, and imperfect, and were discarded by the Luektorem collective. Failures." She was holding her shoulder again.

"Yeah. From what we gather they have a portal on the surface that allows them to go to and from their original home, orherever they come from... We've yet to locate the source. But if we can it might just give us the edge we need." He narrowed his eyes at Nadine. "Ha Ha. Very Funny."

Snicker snicker. The orange haired girl giggled at her own joke at the elven man's expense.

"...How much have you had to drink Nadine...?" Myron asked narrowing his eyes. "Do I smell cannabis too?"

''Eh, just one glass so far. Believe me. I think. I forgot." Venser said sitting up straight in his chair, taking a swig from his glass.

"Gods be damned." Myron sighed into his hand, pulling out his map and poking the gem, the multiverse map appearing. He gazed at the many orbs that circled a large, central orb, in the mess of orbs were around three or four red ones, including one with a symbol on it. To Nadine and Myron, that symbol meant home, he sighed and put the crystal away. "Come on, you know you can't handle your liqour."

''But we're playing I've Never!'' Venser protested before the cute orange haired girl could speak. He glanced at the map and was about to say something, but decided to look it over. Then, he actually did speak.

"... Niether are you are from Laguna. Are you?"

"Not exactly. And we know you're not either." Myron replied to Venser.

"Two." She held up three fingers before putting her hand back on her shoulder. "TO help with the--" Venser had cut her off.

"We can discuss this later... I think it's Myron's turn!"

"Oh no! I'm quite alright! You two continue, I shall observe." He smiled, clasping his cup in his hands. Trying to enjoy this rare moment of relaxation.

''No no, c'mon. I've Never is way better with more people. C'mon.'' He made more hand gestures and said, ''Are you enjoying the Pink Footed Booby? It's my own recipe.''

"Yea have youuuu kissed a Luektorem and trying to avoid admitting it?" She waved a hand at him. "Awful. Truly awful."

The handsome bearded man disappered in a puff of thick red smoke and appeared directly behind him. ''Did you... Perhaps, clog it's cooterhole with your careful cucumber?''

Myron stared blankly forward at the word cucumber. "...No..." He blinked his blue eyes.

The elf had a strange, irrational fear of cucumbers, which Nadine often took advantage of.

"Hmm..." Nadine awkwardly and tapped the table.

Venser disappeared in a puff of thick red smoke and reappeared back in his seat, picking up his glass of Pink Footed Booby and downing it. He was quick to pour himself another glass and asked, ''I've never... Jumped out a lover's window?''

Only Venser drank, and down the hall emerged a tall fair skinned woman with straight black hair that reached past her shoulders and glowing orange in a red nightgown.

"Venser my love, won't you come to bed soon?" Cierra Dawn asked with a yawn, sitting beside the man and kissing him softly.

"In a while, Legs... We are all drinking and playing Never Have I Ever."

"Legs?" Nadine raised an orange brow.

"My nickname for her... Because shes got legs... Like mhmpfh... This is Cierra, by the way."

The leggy succubus raised a brow. "Oh? I'm not familiar with Never Have I Ever."

Myron shrugged. "Niether am I."

"So, we all take turns asking each otjer about things they haven’t done. Other players who have done this thing respond by taking a drink." The handsome bearded man said pouring Cierra a glass of his signature drink, kissing her several times in return and leaning against the six foot tall demon woman.

"Never have I run from the athouritys through the city sewers." The short orange haired girl leaned back in her chair. Still having no drink.

Venser drank to both of those. ''Never have I ended up naked and can't remember why.'' Venser took yet another drink, and his glass almost needed a refill.

"Oh. So I drink to it too, right?" Asked Cierra.

"Oh. So you've run through the sewers pursued by guards too?" Nadine asked.

"I have." Cierra took a drink of the Pink Footed Booby and let out a content sigh.

"Venser really knows how to fix a drink, doesn't he?"

"He does." Said Nadine with a nod, looking to Myron. "Come one, one try."

The elven man sighed and slumped in his seat.

"Never have I ever been held at knifepoint."

All of them them drank, and the elven man looked across to the succubus who had just joined them.

"Cierra should go next."

The succubus gave him a devious smirk, her orange eyes glowing as she looked to her lover beside her, and kept her eyes on him as she thumped his shoulder.

"Never have I ever... Fucked a horse stupid."

Everyone was looking at the handsome bearded man as he sighed.

"Oh come on!" Venser finished his drink and began to pour another, expecting a hangover the next day with how the game was going.

"Oh wow... Mother of Whores, Venser you man-strumpet! What HAVEN'T you slept with?"