Tips & tricks for Men about dating with girlsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #life7 years ago


Dating has always been a complicated process. Where should you go for your appointment? What should you wear? Who should pay for the date? These are good questions but can be very confusing. Here are some good tips for men that women have presented.

First impressions are extremely important:

Women expect you to do your best to get it out. Being well cared for, cleaning and putting on clean clothes will give an excellent first impression right from the start. You might consider your lucky old tired jeans, but your date might feel the same way.

You must choose the location:

You must choose a place where you will be comfortable. Women like to think that their date is able to take charge and they appreciate being surprised. Choosing a familiar and comfortable place for both will make the date much more enjoyable. Preferably, choose a relatively discreet location, do not choose a popular and noisy disco. The idea is to know each other.

 Show Self Confidence:

Confidence is a very appealing aspect to women but steer clear of being cocky! Strutting your stuff is not a sign of confidence it’s actually a sign of insecurity! Pick a subject that interests you and your are enthusiastic about. If you talk about something that you are passionate about, it will show and she’ll respect that. Just because you are not an Adonis, doesn’t mean you are not comfortable in your own skin. Women are attracted to men who feel good about themselves and show it.

Don’t Hog Up The Entire Conversation:

Sometimes it just happens that you keep right on talking because you are nervous. If this starts to happen, check it and take a deep breath. You don’t have to cover your entire life in a first date, let her get a word in edge-wise. If you just hog up the entire conversation you are going to bore her to tears. Ask her some questions to bring her into the conversation and then listen to what she has to say.

Keep The Conversation Light:

The last thing you want to do is get into a heavy conversation. Stay away from negative areas such as someone you dislike or an issue you are dragging around. Women love to laugh, so keep keep it light. You can always have heavier conversations later on.

Do Not Bring Up Your Ex:

The subject of an “Ex” should never be brought up on a first date. You will place your date in a very uncomfortable situation and your evening will probably not go over very well. Should your date bring up the subject, offer a short answer and let her know that your past is exactly that – the past. Swing the conversation back to getting to know her.

Turn Your Phone Off :

There is nothing more irritating then listening to someone’s phone going off every 5 minutes. Phones are very distracting and could easily leave your date believing your calls are more important than this date. Turning your phone off will show her you want to focus entirely on her and that will be a very positive sign.

Pay The Bill:

Let your date know that you want to treat her, it’ll make you look like a true gentleman. If she insists on paying, offer to let her pay on the next date but this one is on you!

Follow-up After The Date:

You should contact her within a few days after the initial date. If you don’t, she’s probably going to believe you are not interested. Let her know in a short period of time that you had a great time. If the date did not go well, don’t tell her you will call her! Simply let her know you had a nice evening and leave it at that.

Get Advise From Female Friends:

If you are uncomfortable about a first date, talk to a female friend to get some pointers. You cannot learn dating from a text book but a good friend might be able to help you out. Tell her about your last date, where you went, what you did and what you talked about. Hopefully, she will be able to give you some helpful tips to improve your next dating experience. 


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Share the bill why do a man have to pay it... Don't listen to your female friends they will only tell you some bs.

I believe in equal rights between man an woman. Man used to pay the bill back then because they were the only one who worked outdoor. I can be a gentleman without paying the whole bill ;)

Much of this advice is dangerous I think... your mileage may vary. But the darkest years in my dating life were brought about by this 'gameplan' almost exactly.

Get Advice From Female Friends - Most people are not introspective. Men or women, it doesn't matter. Most people don't know WHY they do what they do. They don't analyze their own behavior, they don't really get what makes them tick. If you ask a girl for advice she'll tell you what she thinks she wants. And she'll be genuine and honest in that. And it will be not what she actually wants. Because people are more complex than a checklist.

Ask yourself how often you've met the girl "who dates jerks" or the girl who tells you "If only I could meet a guy just like you" but never dates you and ask yourself, really analyze, why things are like that. It's not because you did the right things, now, is it? Otherwise she'd not have friend zoned you. Romantic chemistry isn't magic. Romantic chemistry is psychology. And, well, chemistry. But I digress.

Pay the bill - Never ever do this on a first date. Unless you want to signal to someone that you feel inferior, unworthy of their time, do not do this. Your first date should be light in the first place. Something simple and fun, or something casual like a chill coffee house. Why do you do this? Because YOU might not like HER. Have some self respect. Feel like you have some value. And be able to put 15 minutes in if it turns out to be not a good situation. You show up, order yours, and wait for her to arrive and get hers.

If you pay for a first date you tell the kind of girl you want on some subtle level you weren't an equal. That you had to make up for her investing time in some small way. This isn't the age of women as property, nor is it the age of the 50s with strong social conventions making this a taboo. The rules have become lax enough that any girl worth spending time with will spend her time with you for you. And any who wouldn't isn't worth spending yours on.

And imagine you meet the "wrong" kind of women instead. You tell the wrong kinds of women that you are a potential source of free stuff, free fun, free food. Many people can and will share their time in exchange for goods. You've gained no information on how much they really enjoyed your company if you pay. Because you paid. And you never know.

Some of the rest is flawed but not totally wrong.

Follow-up after the date is not quite as true as you think. Sometimes tension builds as people wonder and the elation and surprise of someone coming back on day 4 setting something up is a net win for you. But yes, if you ignore someone too long interest wanes. You shouldn't be using arbitrary rules to do this. Keep a busy life full of good things. Follow up at a time that is natural. If you're doing it right this shouldn't be the next day because you have a life to live. You're someone she'll want to be around because you have hobbies, talents, friends, strengths.

Turn your phone off is wrong. Don't be glued to your phone. Don't go make a call or read texts. But having someone call or getting some texts can send that message "People like me" and this is good.

The rest is mostly fine.

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