Poetry Slam Challenge # 4 Loop Entry: Vicious Circle
Relentless and overruling, loud voices always raise.
Raise the question, "What's the matter? Why such a saddened gaze?
Gaze the stars, watch the moon, it's such a lovely night."
Nights for you, maybe yes, but for me, it's such a fright.
"Where've you been, what happened to you? Mustn't you be cold?"
Cold I am, but not as he, who shapes me as his mold.
Mold am I, yet mold is here, beneath my sleeves and shoe.
Shoe place he keeps me, isn't neatly,
kept, it's swept mildew.
"Have you a phone? Who do I call? I've just come straight from work."
'Work, dirty scum! Clean up this rum!' Oft in my ears do hurt.
"Hurt? Are you able to speak? Who ripped your clothes? You're trembling!"
Trembling fears, and weary woes, this stranger, wants me remembering.
"I've called for help, just wait with me. They'll clean you up and tend your wound."
Wound my clock with both his hands, he clocked me twice 'til colors bloomed.
Bloomed open her lips, "Please show your face, the bruising is green and purple."
Purple forever. Same words he'd say, each terrible day, this torturous, vicious circle...
Thank you for reading this poem in its entirety. I hope you were able to take something from it. Any abusive relationship can hinder a person's trust for further human interaction. When you experience or witness the damage, from someone who you trusted, loved, and felt comfortable around, be inflicted upon yourself or another person, then you can't help but to defensively be more wary and cautious in the future.
Big thanks once again to @prufarchy for another wonderful poetry slam challenge. I don't like repetition in my writing so much, so this one was a bit tedious to write. Best of luck to everyone's entries.
Photo Credit: Me
Stay safe and love pure.
Next post coming soon
Wow, that is just insanely beautiful @verbal-d. I promise you i saw this haunting photo thumb nail and it made me click !! Did not even know it was a post of yours. Fabulous indeed. This i think would be so cool rhythmically on top of that track i just linked to you. If you felt like it maybe you could try and lay it !! I am sure it could be awesome I am sure. LOVE IT MAN !! ; - )
Thank you for such a powerful and energetically enthusiastic comment. I can really feel your happiness and excitement from your writing. I'm glad this had such an impact on you. I took that picture on a nice walk one evening, and it played perfectly into this poem's overall dark theme. And as far as the track I shall listen to it and definitely see if I can vibe to it and intertwine this poetic piece with your composition. Please allow me some time to map this one out if I do like it and want to use it :) steem on bro
Damn that could be so cool @verbal !! that really is so funny. I was really about done on my curation and was about to wrap it up for today. Then I scrolled up in the new section, my favourite hunting growd. And boom this photo which, well yes fits my soul feeling right now do confess. as it reminded truly of the place where I grew up long ago ; - ) And then this poem wow.....which i read with a feeling of well, I thought of Edgar Allen Poe seriously. Thats what came straight to mind as it progressed. So I go to vote and there is @verbal_d. W e have a connection it seems eh?? So i read it through while listening and maybe this could go. Like you say so rightly dark , slow and well cotting to. Could be real nice as an experiment . But i think I,d like to give you another copy of the track as this one I made fairly low definition to load quick. I should think it will be nicer with another compression from the original recording ok !!How long ago did your right this poem by the way ? So deep really Take your time like you say, no rush, find the timing and we see this !! wish you all the best with your new baby Boy ! ; - )
Thank you I'm looking forward to the newer version of the song. And appreciate the best wishes for my new son. All the pearlescent poems, besides the first one Violet Values (which I revised and edited that day when I posted it) I have written all the other pearlescent poems the same day that I posted them. Including this one for the poetry slam challenge. I like writing under pressure, even if I have no time constraints. Some poems and songs take months or years to complete and many songs and poems and stories take only a day, a couple hours or mostly a good fifteen-thirty minutes. It all depends on my state
Of mind. This one took me about an hour while on the train to the hospital to pick up my wife and son.
So this you have written in just minutes, well thats impressive how you can connect you feeling like this so easily. Plus this was written on the train which took you to your new son. Well thats truly something and you have tapped into something real stron here for sure, its waht i felt as I read I assure you. So I have been playing with my compresion of the track and it would seem that the video sound track is not so bad after all, does not markedly change so I guess for this experiment we can just go ahead and use this one afterall. So i imagine you are more than busy between your new family,s needs and of course Steemit posts. So just listen to the track and find the timing of lecture and give it a go when you have time ok @verbal. Its for minutes long the track so plenty of time, maybe there could be a kicker section which could be some lines repeated to give the thing more impact. In your more than capable hands now, so lets see what comes up !! best wished for this and the rest of your life. ; - ) ps would be nice to have a private chat in Steemit eh?? hope this will be coming along soon, would be really useful to talk directly in real time sometimes.
So poetic, and beautiful. I end up naturally rapping your poems in my head since I know what your voice sounds like :) Good luck
Thank you very much for your lovely words, I enjoy every feedback and commentary individually, and I'm glad you found beauty in this dark piece. The rhythm is now second nature, funny thing, one my best friends noticed that sometimes when we speak normally to each other, it's subconsciously to a specific rhythm usually in tune to our preferential styles of hip hop. The human language with musical tense is such a wonder to hear and observe.
Those are probably wonderful conversations. I agree it's much more beautiful too.
Indeed they are. I hope you entered this challenge. I'll check your profile to see if you have.
Yes I did one for it and it is my most successful post so far on steemit actually, grateful for that. Might do one more I've just been writing free flowing the last couple days, though, been producing daily feels good
Nice congratulations bro, that's a great accomplishment. I wish you the best of success, and yes I've also been doing the same free writing daily and putting my mind to the test. We only get better with time
Good words @verbal-d!
Thank you very much, I appreciate it.