Daily Jokes Vol #2
by venuspcs

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Joke #1: Horse in a Bar

So I walk into a bar one day and there is a horse sitting at a table with a jar full of $5's. So I ask the bartender "what is the deal with the horse" and the bartender says "Well you put $5 in the jar and tell the horse anything you want, if he laughs you get the jar full of money!". So I walked over to the horse, dropped a $5 in the jar and whispered in the horses ear....when the horse fell in the floor laughing I picked up the jar of money and left.

The next day I came back and there was the horse with another jar full of money. So again I asked the bartenders what's up and he said "Well to day you have to make the horse cry". So I walked over and dropped a $5 in the jar and the horse and I went to the bathroom, when we came out the horse was balling. Before I could grab the jar and leave the bartender stopped me and said "Dude, no one has ever made that horse laugh or cry, what the hell did you do?" to which I responded "Well to make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he did, to make him cry I proved it!".

Joke #2: Mexican Hitchhikers

One day an old farmer was driving his pickup to market and saw three Mexicans on the side of the road, he stopped and told them they could ride in the back of the truck with the pig to the next town so they climbed in. A few miles down the road the old farmer had a heart attack and ran off into a river. The three Mexicans drowned. When they got to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter meets them there and says "Fellas, the pig swam to shore, why didn't you guys?" to which the Mexicans responded "We couldn't get the tailgate open".

Joke #3: Mexican Olympics

Why doesn't Mexico have a national Olympic team? Because everyone that run, jump or swim is in the USA.