Daily Jokes Vol #3 by venuspcs

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Joke #1: The Blonde

So this good looking blonde walks into a bar with three ducks. She sits the ducks on the bar and ask the bartender to watch them while she goes to the bathroom. Wanting to get in good with this lady he obliges. He decides he will get to know the ducks.

He goes to the first duck and says "Hello Mr. Duck, what is your name?". The duck responds "Larry". He then says "Well nice to meet you Larry, what did you do today?" and the duck replies "Oh I hung out in the park all day just running in and out of Puddles!". "Cool, sounds like fun!".

He then goes to the second duck and finds out his name is "Curly" and he too "hung out in the park all day just running in and out of Puddles!".

As he approaches the third duck he hears "My name is Puddles and don't even ask how my fucking day went!".

Joke #2: Little Black Boy goes to Church

So this little black boy walks by church every Sunday but never goes in. Finally one Saturday he decides he is going to church the next day, so he goes to bed early and gets a good night sleep. The next morning he grabs a couple of his Mammy's biscuits and sticks them in his pocket and heads off to church.

After the choir finished singing the preacher took to the pulpit and started preaching "Brothers and Sisters I want you to know, you got Jesus in one pocket and Satan in the other!" at the sound of this the little boy stood up, stuck his hands in his pocket and pulled them out empty. He immediately screamed out "Son of a bitch, they ate my Mammy's Biscuits!".