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Not that I'm proud of it...but I have once.

New years a couple years back I was at a friend's apartment in NYC. I was with my girlfriend who I was living with, and unfortunately she drank too much. After a few hours she was sick as a dog. The place was jam packed and to top it off there was only one bathroom as well. If you were in there for more than 2 minutes a line would form, so I had to take her outside for fresh air.

We're in New York City, so going outside for fresh air isn't quite as easy as you'd like it to be. This was especially so since I was hammered myself, and had to literally carry my disheveled girl down stairs and then drag her 3 blocks to go sit in the car. She wasn't exactally cooperating either, and although she was trying to walk, her attempt was more of an obstacle than anything else. Plenty of people were out on the streets and stared as I walked by with what must've looked like a woman getting kidnapped.

After what seemed like an eternity my car was in sight! It was so late and I was exhausted from carrying my girl from my friend's place that I had to put her down for a second. I gently lay her down on the sidewalk and sprinted to the car, and to pick her up. I was halfway there when I looked back and saw a circle of people around my girlfriend, it was as if they came out of thin air. I ran back to her and explained to the group that I was her boyfriend and everything was fine....well she was basically passed out drunk and alone on the sidewalk, so one of the people had called an ambulance and it was there within half a minute.

At this point I'm still drunk as hell, but all the bullshit sobered me up enough to explain the situation to the EMTs. (I told them i was fine to drive, but I'd polished off a 750 of Maker's with the help of a friend an hour prior) Thankfully they were cool and just checked my girlfriend out quickly and gave her some oxygen and let us be on our way.

I strapped the Mrs. in, sat in the car for 5 minutes and was so fed up and done that I drove an hour home. This was at 1AM, on NYE. With a completely inebriated passenger. While drunk as fuck myself. To add some icing on top, earlier that night my rear brake light burnt out, so add in with a brake light out.

I was lucky nothing worse happened that night.

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  • No

Are you a cop? Because you gotta tell us if you are..

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NEVER!
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