Pass the Pudding

a mosaic musing on skills gathered, limits shattered, the humility of community, and the gleaned gold of gratitude

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I began the journey home to visit family for Thanksgiving on Tuesday evening, much later than was wise. But I was calm, grounded, and confident! So off I went into the night, with my kitty in her carrier and coffee in my mug. And thus, the adventure began...

First of all, the truck said so - that's all I'm saying - Uni First! ;)

I was four hours in to the trip (three still to go) and I hit my second wind. I hadn't even broken into the Rockstar Punched yet, so this was a great sign! I was making good time and planned to be at my grandmother's house before sunrise.

But lo... fate had other ideas in mind...

Boom Boom Rattle Rattle

- he shook, he shuddered
  and I knew I could not go on.

Meet Razmatazz Shenanigan - my loyal vehicle. He has served me well and bravely for many years, but something was amiss! And so I succumbed to the desire for safety and pulled into a rest stop to reconnoiter.

Secondly, oh the poor kitty!!

My cat is not fond of car rides. She manages well enough, but she has made it very clear that she never wants to get into her carrier and go in the car. While parked at the rest stop, making phone calls to AAA and the car insurance company, I tried to console her with calm words and loving pets. But still she tugged my heart strings with pleading little mews every now and then. I knew it would be many more hours before we finally reached our destination. She was fine enough while we were stationary in the rest area, but she was not impressed with the two tow truck rides I took her on.

Flash Forward to Waking Hour 28: I DO NOT KNOW IF I WILL EVER SEE SLEEP AGAIN. THE KITTY CONTINUES TO SUFFER STOICALLY. I CAN ONLY HOPE TO PROVE MYSELF AS STRONG, SHOULD I EVER BE IN CAPTIVITY

Sitting in the car at the rest stop on the highway, I considered all my options. I had to readjust my expectations immediately, of course. There would be no avoiding traffic and making it home any time soon. So, I wasn't really worried about the timing anymore. I decided to check in with my social media and see if I could find any options there.

Thirdly, (yet most importantly) - true community is humbling.

I'm the type of person that wants to help, always. I want to do whatever I can to help people in need if it is possible. I used to follow this impulse to a fault - to the point where I sacrificed my own well-being, but I have since learned when to set boundaries and not step-in. Yet the impulse is still there. When I hear of folks with needs and know of folks that could help with those needs, I want to connect them together - even if they don't know each other. These things seem to me like puzzle pieces, begging to be joined together.

I have some very good friends who I know would be there for me, if ever I am truly in need. But I've always half-fantasized about finding a community of people that was like this. Like family, in the sense that if you were good friends with one of them, you were accepted by all. Folks you could count on to do right by you and help you when you were in need. A long time ago I came to the conclusion that this probably didn't exist, for a myriad of reasons.

Another thing I wished for, for a long time, was a group of creative people (especially writers) that would work to support and inspire each other - who were committed to their art and would challenge each other in the name of growth and beauty, and enjoy the process along the way. Again, I have a have met a few folks here and there who I have that relationship with, but I gave up on finding this in a group setting a long time ago, as well.

And yet, it seems these two worlds collide, here in a Steemit community - The Writers' Block.

When I was chatting in my stranded defeat in discord, not one, not two, but several of these amazing people immediately offered to help in some real and tangible way. Folks were reaching out into their network to see if they knew someone who knew someone...who could possibly help me - a total stranger to them - because I'm a part of this community. These people and are so fiercely passionate about life and connection that it's just what they do.

I want to thank directly the folks who were there in chat with me, offering support and assistance: @jrhughes, @bex-dk, @rhondak, @jonknight, @aksounder, @thinknzombie, @ahmadmanga, and @gmuxx. And two other folks, who weren't there in Writers' Block chat, but were still helpful and supportive: @sircork and @clayboyn. I really appreciate you all!!

It was quite humbling to have folks, who only know me through an online chat forum and steemit, to be offering money, rides, and whatever assistance they could. It made the long night much easier to handle. On that Thanksgiving Eve, I was feeling deep gratitude for these people and this community.

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Finally, after talking to AAA and my insurance company several different times, plans were in place. The first tow truck came to rescue me off the highway, bringing me up the road to a gas station where the next tow truck was allowed to collect me. The first driver was very nice, if quiet and reserved. He declined getting his picture taken. The next driver was very nice as well, and much more talkative (and not camera shy). Finally, after more confusion with GPS temporarily misleading us, we ended up at the AAA auto repair shop.

The place was very nice: spacious, with a comfortable seating area, coffee station, and incredibly friendly, caring, and helpful workers. All things considered, it was really lovely to be there. After a short while, one of the guys called me out to the dock to show me what was wrong. Two of my lugnuts were missing, the bolts having been knocked off and the remaining two were so loose the mechanic was able to take them off with his hands alone. So basically, my wheel was trying to fall off my car.

He got me a quote, and soon after, they started working on the repair. They told me it should be done in about an hour, which was great news. However, the hour came and went, and Raz stayed high up on the lift, while my kitty became restless in her carrier.

About another hour passed, and the guy came and checked in with me again. He apologized profusely because he had misunderstood the mechanic originally. I still had about an hour left to wait. I sighed and smiled...such is the way of car repairs. He saw that I was concerned about my cat, however, and so offered to let her run around in his office. It was such a kind offer, and I was so grateful (and the kitty too!) Overall, these workers at the shop were so kind and friendly, and if I lived anywhere near the area, I'd definitely go back there again.

"So what about this pudding?" you may be asking. "I want my pudding!!" I used pudding in the title of this post because that's where the proof is supposed to be, and I do believe I've found it. I have never in my life been up this many hours straight, and yet, I am doing fine. I owe much of this to caffeine, but i believe more of it I owe to the fact that I've learned to take a lot of things in stride, and not sweat the small stuff. These skills that I have learned in recent years - working with my emotions, grounding, resourcing, and others - proved very effective.

The other proof I've found is of the character of these folks I spend many of my hours with lately. Not that I had any doubt, but experiencing the care and willingness to help from these folks when I was in a pickle, was really something. It really made me respect them all the more, and be so grateful to be a part of that community.

Throughout that whole wakened spin of the globe, I had the acute awareness of perspective and gratitude. It was inconvenient, it was a bother, but in the grand scheme of things, it was just another page in the chapter. And the important thing about the words we write, like the life we live, is to make it worth it. Show up, do your best, do your thing, and enjoy the journey.

Hour 32: Raz is almost ready to go. Rush hour is looming, but the end to this journey is in sight! I'm still not home, of course, so there is a chance I may still crash and burn, but I don't think that will happen. If I start to waver, I'll turn to my kitty for inspiration.

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**I did finally arrive safely, if much later than expected.

Thanks for visiting!

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