Winning together instead of winning alone!

I have already written and mentioned the importance of good relationships in some of my earlier articles shared here in Project Hope. Today, I would like to share some thoughts on how we treat one another, and how we are capable to deal with change in our own lives.

People will judge us by how we treat them, and there is a slogan telling us that there will only be one winner in the end. But, does it really have to be that way?

Someone always has to be the winner

There are so many ways to approach someone. There are so many ways you can carry something out in your personal relationships and there are so many different interactions that can determine how successful your relationship is with someone.

Learning all this starts early in life, as soon as we are born. It later continues in the kindergarten and then in school, where you learn even more about interacting and how to build relationships with friends and teachers.

But the fact is that the school system we have does not teach the children to be good team players and how to work with each other effectively.

But what do I mean?

The system of school is really easy. The students' job is to study, everyone has to learn the same thing, in the same way, at the same speed. The system does not make any difference between the students' personality, weaknesses, and strengths, and the school does not value the real effort a student makes.

In the school the students are compared to each other, how good their performances are, how effective they are, how good they study, everyone is compared to each other. The worth of a student is measured by their grades. They are not valued by their real capabilities or how much time and effort they put in a specific work, and most importantly they don't learn how to work together.

So what does this teach us from the very beginning?

That we have to fight, to be the best and the others are our competitors. We learn that the most important thing is to work alone. In school, they punish us when we try to solve a problem together when we try to work with each other.

To be able to be productive and help each other, which is so essential later in life, it is so important that we learn how to support each other, because alone we are just not able to do as much work and as good work as we want. To achieve our goals in life we have to work with the others and to do that we have to know how to approach them, how to interact with them.

What we learn early in school is that winning is the best and most important and that being perfect is the best that someone can achieve. This principle does not teach us how to be good team players, it only teaches us that we have to be the best alone, and to be the best and to win any competitions, someone has to be the loser because not everyone can win.

Source

Due to this attitude, we have to learn it the hard way how to work and deal with each other, how to find the best possible way for everyone and how not to see everyone as a competitor. To do that you have to be open and look at the big picture. It is essential that we know all these in order to be productive and to be able to reach our wishes.

When I just look at sports I see the same attitude. There is always only one who can win a competition and that is the most important thing to do, all the others are the losers. Here we learn too, that the value of working together doesn't bring real success, that you are good alone. Of course, team sports come as an exception to that rule.

But I could bring an example from families, where they compare the children to each other, or at the workplaces, where the boss uses his position and power to carry something out, instead of looking for a solution that is good for everyone, in these interactions, there is always someone, who looses, who is in a weak position, who suffers and who feels worthless.

The big change - Everyone can be a winner

Personally I think the best interaction that can be found between two persons is the win-win situation. In the win-win situation, all the participants work together and want to achieve the same goals together.

What does that mean? In these interactions all the participants try to find a solution that is good for everyone, they do not try to control and give orders. The parties in this situation are more balanced than in any other interactions.

In a win-win situation, there are no losers or winners, everyone is a winner because everybody is satisfied, everyone has responsibility, everyone has to do and give something to make the plan, the relationship, the situation work, to keep the balance.

When every participant has the feeling that they are responsible and that their thoughts are important, it will make the relationship and the work itself more effective, fruitful, happier, and more balanced. This is the best motivation you can give someone, trust, responsibility, and freedom.

I should mention that Project Hope is a win-win situation in the same way. Just like we actually gain profit ourselves, we also help others in greater need, and we take part in a community where everyone is winning. Isn't that just amazing?

Are you in a weak position?

Maybe you are in the weak position and feel like everyone else is throwing you around like a ball?

If that is so, then it is not the others that are throwing you around, it is you who are letting them. It is your attitude and your perspective that needs to change because it can happen that someone might try to draw profit from you.

You should not give your whole power away and let others lead your life. You have to learn to take responsibility and you have to trust yourself!

The people around you are not enemies - they are co-workers - Source

All relationships are unique

All the relationships that you have are unique because we are all individuals. This means that you have to be flexible and to be able to change when it is needed, because none of your relationships will be the same.

If I want to make it really simple; the best way to build a relationship is when both of the parties have the same rights, when everyone's feelings, thoughts, and ideas have the same values. When it is so, then the work and the interaction between the people have the most possibility to be effective and pleased.

Of course, there are always exceptions. When you do something to your loved one, your friend, your child, something to make them happy, then you make sacrifices because you value that relationship so much.

Human relationships are so special, everyone is different and experience life a little bit differently. How you react to situations has a huge effect on what kind of interactions, relationships, and examples you have had.

You have to be aware and know exactly what kind of interactions you want to have with the others around you. You have the power to make the best out of a relationship, you can decide, if you want to do everything by yourself, or if you want to be the winner, or if you want to work with the others together so that it is fruitful for everyone. You always have the decision to form your interactions with openness and with understanding to the others.

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Sorry that the article became so long, but I had a lot on my heart. Writing about the school system, it might reflect the school system in Eastern Europe, but maybe in other parts of the world as well.

I hope you have found the article to be useful, and that you will be inspired to be a winner yourself, but not the sole winner. Instead, you can become a winner, and also bring the people around you with you on the winning trip! Doesn't that sound cool?

This is an original article written by me for Project Hope, first published on Hive!