How many of our fears have been taught to us?
Is fear taught?
I know as humans that we are all prone to fear. I also know that a lot of people have fears that don't make sense to anyone else or necessarily have an origin. It just depends on the person. So how many of our fears are truly ours, and how many have we learned from someone else?
one of the aliens from The Great Movie Ride - source
My two-year-old was with me on The Great Movie Movie Ride at Disney World. There were some pretty creepy looking aliens at one point, which he's never really been exposed to before. Instead of telling him to close his eyes or implying that they were "scary," my husband and I said things like, "wow! That's a cool alien!" And, "do you think he looks cool?" And he was perfectly fine. He showed zero concern or fear about something that may be scary for kiddos.
Recently, my son was aware of loud thunder for the first time. He asked me what it was and he acted really nervous about it. I told him, completely calmly and reassuringly with no concern in my voice, that it was a thunderstorm and that the sky sometimes made loud cracking noises when that happens. It didn't seem to allay his nervousness at all. He covered his ears and ran around every time there was a clap of thunder.
No one told him to be afraid of the storm, and no one acted alarmed or afraid of it for him to pick up on, so I think he was feeling the fear of the unknown. He didn't know what it was, he couldn't make it stop, I couldn't stop it for him, and he didn't like it. So he was scared of it.
With the aliens on the Disney World ride, no one told him to be afraid or acted scared, so he wasn't afraid. Could he have been scared without any influence like he was with the thunder? Maybe. But I know he would have been scared had I acted scared or told him it was scary.
So what I am learning is that there is no reason to instill fears unnecessarily.
Obviously I don't want him to burn himself, so I show alarm around fires and things that are hot. And I don't want him to get hit by a car, so I tell him with heavy concern in my tone to hold my hand and look both ways when crossing the street.
But I don't tell him needles are scary, even though I am petrified of them, and I don't tell him that zombies and skeletons are creepy even though I know other kids are scared of them. Because there's no reason for him to learn fears from me.
I know he will have fears, and I know that sometimes I fail and act afraid and he may be afraid because of it (like with bugs and spiders, eww), but I am going to try my hardest.
I want him to be brave and to have as few fears as possible. I don't want to influence his fear!
Be brave, fellow Steemians! And teach those close to you to be brave!
Blessings!
how can we control fear?
That's a great question. It's different for everyone, and it's also a choice.
You have said it all ... ''Be brave" even in the midst of fear!
Great post @uglysweater
Thank you!
You're welcome
I agree that most fears are a learned trait. Thats why so many fears are entirely irrational.
Yes, exactly!
Very intersting idea. I've recently become more aware of this since unintentionally 'teaching' my 2 year old to be afraid of spiders! They are so easily influenced at that age and I'll now be more careful about passing fear onto her. Resteemed.
Yes, I have to be careful not to let my two-year-old become influenced by my reaction to spiders, too!
Found this amazing quote. “There are indeed (who might say Nay) gloomy & hypochondriac minds, inhabitants of diseased bodies, disgusted with the present, & despairing of the future; always counting that the worst will happen, because it may happen. To these I say How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened!”
Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Adams, Apr. 8, 1816
This is great! Thanks for sharing!
Seems to me we have different levels of fear... some are probably genetic; the howling of wolves causes a lot of people's spines to tingle even if they have never seen a wolf or been near one... somewhere in our ancient genetic programming, that sound means "danger, you'll be eaten."
Most things are more learned, I'm sure. I always liked the "False Evidence Appearing Real" saying.
Yes, I agree, we have instictive alarms to danger, the same as animals. An animal that has never seen a man will still run from it.
I also like that quote. It is so true!
This is TOTALLY true! Great post!
Thank you! 😊
This is an amazing post @uglysweater!
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
Most of us have become afraid of things which we shouldn't be afraid of. It makes absolutely no sense to be afraid of things that do not pose a danger.
Most of these fears have come through the unconscious programming by our parents, the people around us and the tons of media we consume in the first 10 years of our life.
Deprogramming this baggage can be a long process but it provides a lot of relieve.
Thank you!
Yes, I agree with you -- most of us have fears that make little to no sense, and they are most often fears rooted from our childhood. Getting rid of them is difficult!
Thanks for commenting!
Agreed!!
Some of our fears have been thought to us.
It's important to recognize it and stop it before it get to us.
“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.” quote by Suzy Kassem
Yes, exactly! Great quote, thanks for sharing! 😊
Perhaps the biggest fear for humans is the fear of death. To die a painful death is obviously not something that we would wish for and is a scary thought for sure but the fear of death itself, why does that scare us if we were to think of passing peacefully in our sleep? The fear of not seeing our loved ones any more or the fear of the unknown, why do we even have these thoughts let alone fear them? :)
Great post @uglysweater!
Oh, my goodness, the fear of death is like the epitome of fear. I was told once that babies cry when they are born because they know they are going to die -- how morbid!
Thanks for your comment! 😊
What happens to the babies that don't cry when they're born? Do they live forever?? :)
Basically. Lol!