Communication 沟通

Wherever there are human beings, there is a likelihood of conflicts. Any conflict which is not resolved reasonably and amicably, it can become greater tension among the parties concerned. If it is resolved well, it can become an enriching experience. Among the different types of conflict, one common occurrence of conflict is due to communication. As mediating communication conflict requires special techniques, which is beyond the scope of this article, I hereby would like to touch on awareness, which can be a help to prevent avoidable miscommunication.

First, there is miscommunication due to different personalities. I have no intention to stereotype anybody though attempting to categorise people into either an extrovert or introvert. The extrovert tends to be more out-going, whereas, an introvert, more reserved and quiet. Between both the extrovert and the introvert, each of them can also either be a task-oriented or people-oriented person.

In brief, a task-oriented extrovert person is more driven when he/she relates to people, whereas, a people-oriented extrovert tends to be sociable and influential. As for a task-oriented introvert, he/she inclines to be more complying to rules and regulations than attending to relationship. But the people-oriented introvert would be more considerate of other people especially in times of making tough decision.

Therefore, miscommunication may occur when two different personalities communicating with one another without an awareness of the other person’s personality. Take an example, a task-oriented extrovert may request a people-oriented introvert friend for a favour. The latter feels that it is difficult to meet the request, but has responded by being quiet for fear of offending the task-oriented extrovert friend. To that extrovert, the quietness of the introvert friend is an implication of willing to meet the request. Such miscommunication would turn out to be a conflict one day.
Hence, it is vital to gain some knowledge of different personalities. Besides, having equipped with such awareness when relating to another personality, this would help to avoid miscommunication due to different personalities.

Secondly, miscommunication can occur because of different cultures. Take an example, the people from countries of mono-culture like Japanese and Koreans are more used to non-verbal communicating style than people from multi-cultural background. To elaborate, an American consultant was conducting a seminar in Japan. At the end of her talk, she asked the Japanese attendees whether they had any questions. Non had raised their voice to ask question and she was pleased that there was no question. Later, someone who knew the Japanese culture reminded her that the Japanese would seldom make eye contact with the speaker unless they had something to ask or communicate. With such awareness, during the following session, she paid attention to the non-verbal expression of her attendees when asking if there was any question. She noticed there were attendees lifted up eyes and looked at her. Then she assumed they had questions and resonated with them. Indeed, they had questions but waiting to be called.

Anybody who is communicating with another person from a different cultural background, and having the awareness of the cultural diversity between both of them would certainly help to minimise their miscommunication.

那里有人，那里就可能有冲突。如果冲突没有妥善處理，可能会令有关者陷入僵局。然而若妥善解决，将会成為丰富人生的经验。综观各种冲突，错误的沟通常会引起冲突。今天调解冲突需要特殊的技巧，这不是写本文的目的。我在此只是希望能提升一些意识以避免错误沟通。

首先，不同的性格有可能引發错误的沟通。我無意标签任何人雖然我会尝试把人分成外向及内向型。外向型的人会较主动，而内向型则是较保留及安静。無論是外向型或内向型，任何一型又可分为着重任務或人際关系者。

简言之，着重事務的外向型会倾向控制人，而以人際为重的外向型会倾向交流及發挥影响力。至于关注事務之内向型会嚴守秩序规范多於人際关系。至於着重人際关系的内向型会在作决定时更加考虑人的需要。

因此，错误沟通很有可能会發生在两个缺乏性格意识，且又是不同性格的人之间。举个例子，如果一个着重事務的外向型者要求着重人際关系的内向型朋友辦事。而後者又觉得不能接受前者的要求，並因为怕得罪対方而以沉默方式囘应。然而対於这外向型的人，他则認为沉默即同意。这样的误会将会遅早变成冲突。

根据上述，提高対各种性格的意识，又装備自己如何与各种性格的人沟通，这将有助避免因不同的性格可能造成的错误沟通。

第二，错误沟通也可能源自不同的文化。举个例子，单一文化國家的人如曰本人和韓國人较比多元文化國家的人更惯於使用非语言的沟通方式。阐述之，一位美国諮询人员在曰本主持一个研讨会。结束讲座时，她给这些来自日本的出席者發问机会，然而没有一人开口發问。讲员还自喜没有问题。後来, 一位熟悉日本文化的人向她指出日本人不太会在没有问题时与讲员作眼睛接触。若作眼睛接触则可能想要提出问题。那位美國讲员有了这文化意识，她在下一堂时便加以注意学员的非言语沟通方式。她發现有学员举目看她，她便感觉到他们要發问且等待她开口个别叫他们發问。

任何人和不同文化的人沟通，而预先有了対该种文化的意识，将能减少因文化差异所可能引起的错误沟通。