10 Conversational Hacks Everyone Should Know
And then the awkward silence comes up. You see the face of your partner squeeze up like used toilet paper.
You realized you've done it again.
Making small talk with strangers or with your friends shouldn't be something difficult.
Matter of fact, it's not, it's simple, and here are 10 Hacks to help you out.
You can thank me later
#1 TAKE THE LEAD
If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere.
Zig Ziglar
I guess you think you're the only one scared of small talk, good news is you're not.
Millions are out there scared out of their minds too. That's why you can't wait for others to talk to you.
Talk to them.
Break the ice.
Stab the thing on the forehead.
Be the first to say Hello. Be the first to ask about the Super Bowl. Be the first to ask about family, about the job, about the weather, about the dog and whatever you can think off.
Stop waiting for them. Go
#2 REFUSE TO THINK TOO MUCH
'I think Hitler had it all figured out'
Last week, I was out with my friends and we were so fucking bored. It was like the Christmas of boredom.
Eben was reading a novel and the rest of us including me were just pressing our phones.
Then I just blab it out.
'I think Hitler had it all figured out'
They all look at me as if I was dope on something, and then with a huge smile on my face, I started talking some utter nonsense about humanity and brutality and how sometimes evil deeds is needed for good ones to be done.
And my friends just stared at me like I was crazy and then I said
'do you guys believe all that shit, cos I don't'
Then the laughter erupted and they chased me around the house.
The end.
A beautiful story right?
I've always noticed at times that what to say is not the problem, most times we have enough stuffs in our head to make a year of conversation, we are just scared to say it.
We think it will sound dump or too ordinary or weird or whatever.
Fact is it won't. I've talked about goats with a stranger before and we ended up connecting because of it.
Refuse to think too much, just drop out what in your head. Remember that anything is better than silence.
And if it all goes south, you can always apologize or exit or run away.
#3 HAVE BACK-UP QUESTIONS…..
Hey do you like soccer?
Did you hear about Lucy's incident with the internship?
Ahhh did you see that new movie trailer?
DO you believe in personal development?
Oh where do you work?
This is extremely vital especially if you're out meeting new people because even though listening is popularized, at times you have to do most of the talking before the stranger relaxes and started speaking to you.
Just have two or three questions that you're prepped to ask once you detect the awkward silence?
DO you like music... Which genre?
There you go, you're no longer scared of awkward silences.
#4 SCENE DIGGING……
At the time we run into wall in our future conversations, this hack will really help to kick the ball rolling.
Just look around you and comment on something or find something in the surrounding to connect with the person you're talking to.
Hey what brought you here?
How do you know the people here anyway?
Tell me about that person you just talked to
Holy shit, see that wheels, oh I'm gonna die, oh! Do you like cars
How did you develop the interest in that?
Are you enjoying the party... Tell me about it
Just find something in the surround and turn it into a question. And remember don't think too much.
Just ask it.
#5 MAKING RANDOM STATEMENTS……
Yeah
I meant the random as literal. We usually ask random questions by the way.
SO why not make random statements?
How's your day going.. What do you do for a living.. Where are you from.. What are your passions and other boring questions.
The thing is a lot of people are not comfortable with the eerie interviewee mode we all snap into when meeting new people.
Statements are better. Try these;
You look like you had a great day... Tell me about it
(with a look of sarcasm) you look like you do something boring for a living
I had a friend from Ohio who looked just like you
You look like a fun person
You have that look of someone on a mission to save the planet...
SO you must really be popular huh?
Statements are better because people are quicker to correct than answer your questions.
#6 ASKING INTERESTING QUESTIONS……
On a normal day people ask each other
How was your day?
Have you eaten?
Where do you work?
What do you do for a living?
How's the family?
Ugh..
DO you know what's wrong with these questions?
EVERYTHING!!!
You'll get a one word answer
The person isn't excited to answer you because it's a generic question
It shows you're not really interested in making the conversation
Try interesting questions that will bring about a lengthy response and at the same time make others feel good.
Try;
Tell me about the current product launch you're on.
If you had a million dollars, would you be doing what you're doing... Why?
Who is your best author?
What's the best part of your job?
What's the best thing you ate today?
What fun things do you do?
These questions are counterintuitive but they work, people don't get asked this question often, and you'll get a lengthy answer each time.