On Temperament; Embracing your Uniqueness

Eunice and Saphir Adebowale are sisters. Their family and mine are very close. Mrs. Lola Adebowale and my mum have been friends since childhood. Hence, we are family friends. They grew up together; attended the same elementary, secondary and tertiary institution. The only difference was, they were not admitted the same year. Eunice's mum got admitted before my mum, but that did not limit their friendship, even after they both graduated and got married.

The Adebowale's had just two girls. Eunice is the first child while Saphir is the second and last child of the Adebowale's. My family is made up of 5, my dad, my mum, my two siblings and myself(before David was later adopted, if you read the previous post).

Eunice and my older sibling are in the same age bracket, while Saphir and I are also age mates. The Adebowale's reside in Ibadan, while we reside in Osun, both are in the South Western part of Nigeria. During the long vacation, we spend our holidays at each other's place, when we were in secondary school.

During one of our holidays, my siblings and I travelled to Ibadan,to spend the holiday with them. While we were at their place, I observed some traits in Saphir which Eunice never possessed. Saphir was reserved and kept to herself, she can stay indoor for a whole day, she hardly relates with us. Initially, I didn't like her character, because I felt she was being proud and trying to avoid us for no reasons. I was beginning to dislike her and tag her proud.

Eunice on the other hand, exude this awesome strength, she is sociable, friendly, a fantastic story teller, speaks out, very compassionate, tender hearted, optimistic about life. Infact, she was like the comedian in the house. She makes the house lively together with my older sibling. I was a bit worried, about their difference in behaviour, I spoke to my dad about it over the phone, because I wasn't comfortable staying at their place anymore. Since she is my age mate, I felt it would have been awesome if we relate well and share ideas. And being the only boy amidst them, was not helping matter.

My dad promised to check on us over the weekend, if his schedule permits him. Weekend came, lo and behold, my dad and mum came visiting as well. It was such a great gathering as Mr Adebowale was around too. My dad explained to us saying, " the way we react to situations, that is, people, things and places is called TEMPERAMENT". My dad further asked me if my siblings and I act the same way, despite we are of the same parents. I answered "NO".

Then he told me, he was going to give us an assignment. My dad is a kind of person, that helps you learn on your own. He called my siblings and I, together with Eunice and Saphir and told us, we should find out about the four types of temperament, and assign to each one of us , the character that best suit each one of us. The study began and it was a very informative one. From my findings, I discovered the following.

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—Choleric: A choleric person exhibits the following strengths:

A choleric is a goal oriented person, an achiever, if they set standard, usually tenacious, face life the way it is. They are pragmatic, they make up their minds, they are independent, domineering and born leaders, their decisions are accurate, they are not afraid to take risks, they are decisive. The major challenge of a CHOLERIC is hostility, and sometimes cruel. They can keep malice. They don't mind hurting people especially when they are angry with the person. They dont like small talk and prefer deep. They can be insensitive. Not moved by tears, crying or weeping doesn't change anything. When a choleric is not happy with you, they can make life difficult for you.

In an ideal world, they want to hang out with people of personal interests. A choleric should learn how to be patient, loving, sympathetic and friendly to others.

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—Sanguine: People with sanguine temperaments are often optimistic, they are enthusiastic; have the capability to enjoy the present, love gatherings, parties and outings, they make you feel they are your best friend, they respond to people's emotion easily.

However, sanguines don't like commitment, hence they may be quite unreliable, easily distracted In most cases, they struggle with addictions, since they are disposed to seeking pleasure. They are great entertainers but not good with academics.

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— Melancholic: They follow traditions, love their friends and family. Do not seek adventure. Psychologists say it is the richest of all temperaments. Idealistic, perfectionist, creative and love to contribute to people and surroundings. They don't change friends easily, they are self sacrificing.

However, a melancholic person can be negative, critical, pessimistic. He learns to be disappointed. He applies self-introspection, he never measures up to his own standard, he can lapse into depression. He needs joy to break free.

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—Phlegmatic: They are easy going, peace loving and friendly, good planners, highly efficient, they are humorous, very diplomatic, they are good under pressure. They are rarely confrontational and quick to apologize for any wrongdoing in order to keep a cordial relationship. They are good under pressure, i.e., they need pressure to deliver results. They are prone to being cheated or bullied. They are indecisive. Love helping others.

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This broad study really changed my perspective about life and people since then. I was able to know my temperament, that of my siblings, Eunice and Saphir Adebowale. Furthermore, It greatly helped me relate well with my roommates after I got admission into the university. I got to know that, for every action we take as human beings, there are reasons for it, even though sometimes it is difficult to understand our feelings or thoughts.

Conclusively, it is very important that you find out your temperament so you can help yourself lead a better life.

Further reading:

• The four Human temperaments by Dr D.W. EKstrand
• Four temperaments.com/types of temperament
• Types of temperament by Rev. Sam Adeyemi