Trafalgar Rant: Advertisement

Welcome to a new series called Trafalgar Rant, where I can run a few random thoughts off of the top of my head without worrying too much about structure or delivering a central worthwhile message. Fret not however, for what it lacks in structure it'll make up for in a lack of structure. See? It's working wonders already.

I often like to think of myself as being too smart to be susceptible to the effects of advertisement. I like to imagine that it only works on the simple and daft folk who are easily impressionable, while brilliant rational people capable of exercising exceptional restraint, such as myself, are impervious from such distractions.

Except knowing that everyone else likely shares this exact belief forces me to accept the fact that I'm probably just as much of a sucker for advertisement as the next guy who's dumb enough to think he's smarter than everyone else but smart enough to know he's not. There's a strange efficiency to the realization: it sort of represents both the delusion and dispelling of the Dunning-Kurger Effect simultaneously. Like conveniently catching your spouse, who you've always distrusted and have been meaning to find a reason to break up with, cheating on you. If only all of life's problems offered a concurrent solution then I wouldn't have to go to court for slashing her tyres. But I digress.

Shouty Ads

My favorite type of advertisement is the shouty ad. Just as I'm dozing off to sleep to a rather repetitive episode of NCIS, 'Doors! Doors! Doors!' my TV will suddenly start shouting at me as I leap to attention. 'This French solid timber with glass bi fold backdoor, not $1200, not $900 but $1400!!' it'll continue, maybe not verbatim, but something to that effect. Now I've never bought a door before, so I don't know if not $1200, not $900 but $1400 is a good price for a French solid timber backdoor bi fold (sounds like some position from the Kama Sutra), or if an upgrade to liquid timber is available, but it sure got me awake and excited for what was going to happen next on NCIS.

Hmm, what do these guys sell again...oh that's right, doors

Celebrity Endorsements

Less effective, though no less fascination, are celebrity endorsements. Generally I'm well aware that buying the same type of shoes as Usain Bolt isn't going to make me run any faster than buying the same bathroom door endorsed by Oscar Pistorius is going to help me murder my cheating girlfriend. But there is this one celebrity endorsement that really worked on me. I'm referring to the premium cat food ads featuring Eva Longoria and this cat that's as annoyingly pretty for a cat as she is for a human, and cats, for the most part, are generally quite pretty already. So now my spoiled cat basically goes on a hunger strike every time I offer to feed her anything that's worth less than its weight in bitcoins.

Well good meow to you too

Cold Calling

In this day and age when the landline phone rings you can be sure that the person on the other end is either offering cheaper energy/internet/insurance rates or a method of consolidating all your debt into a single loan. Just once I would like to be wondering 'gee, I wish I could consolidating all my debt into one simple payment scheme' right before receiving one of these calls, instead of being in the middle of dinner, or showering, or feeding my cat my life savings, or wanking. And I bet if you ask them to take you off whatever list they have you on, they just send your details to every other cold caller in the business, even if your request didn't contain swear words.

Going by the pictures, call centers only ever employ supermodels

What are your favorite or least favorite types of advertisements? Let me know in the comments. By the way all that stuff about murdering my ex girlfriend were just jokes so you have nothing to worry about Sarah.

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Image Sources 1,2,3,4

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