When children steal...
One of my biggest fears is to have a child steal from me and find them in the act. I really don't know how I would go about it and where I live is likely this will happen to me at some point.
Yesterday @transbeauty went to the supermarket to get some supplies for the week and a kid was trying to go for her purse, a security guard nearby made his presence known and deescalated the situation quickly.
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But what if it were me? What if there weren't cameras or a security guard?
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What do you do when you find a child stealing from you?
Do you talk to them? What to say? If they are stealing the likelihood is that they are doing it out of need.
Do you let them have what they came for? You'd be rewarding the behavior and endangering them next time they try it.
Do you take them to the police? Police will probably beat them up and steal from them only to let them go later, if the child is lucky not to get raped by them.
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Do you hit the child?
I've thought about this, about how much harm this act unpunished can do. I've thought about what happens if you let a kid like that go without teaching them consequences, maybe next time they do it they won't find mercy in the beating for messing with the wrong person. But I don't ever want to hit a kid, I am going to have to carry that with me for the rest of my life if I do it. Not just that, but if a person who is not aware of the situation walks in on me shaking a child I might get in trouble myself.
So what does one do when a child is found stealing? Have you ever faced this awful situation?
I don't own any of the images displayed and this is not an endorsement of violence
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Talk to them, or talk to those responsible for them. Hitting a child is violence, and short of self defense (which would be a rare occurence) it has no place in dealing with children. To hit a child is to teach them that we solve our problems with violence. Which we have been doing, and look at the state of the world.
And say what? I would want to talk to them, of course. But what do I say when they tell me they are hungry and that's why they are stealing? What do I do if they run? What to do when a kid has no one looking after them? It's a complex situation, but I do agree violence doesn't have a good record as a teaching mechanism.
Honestly I don't know what you say. It would depend on the moment and the specifics. I agree it is complex. But so is life. Violence just makes it more so. There is no reason why you couldn't help out if hunger or homelessness was a reason. But first comes dialogue to understand what you are dealing with. Wish I had a one size fits all answer to this question.
I wish there was a simple answer too. One should try to avoid violence at all cost, but some of those kids are very dangerous. Last month a friend was robbed by 5 kids younger than 13 all with knives. I am glad I've never been in a situation like that. Part of what drives me to wonder how I'd react is having to keep in mind that society sees actions based on gender differently.
For example, prior to looking like I do people would think that I was a woman, I never doubted what my actions would be if I was attacked by a woman when people saw me as another woman. But now that people see me as a man (transgender), if a woman wrongs me I need to keep in mind that my reaction to this, my treatment to her, will be judged differently than if they saw two women.
I was hit by my parents a few times growing up and to this day can't trust them, I know they have a breaking point in which they are no longer reasonable and can become violent. My parents are not part of my life and much of that is because they decide to employ violence. They may not be able to hit me like they used to, but that doesn't mean they don't want to and that's not something I want around me.
Yes, self defense is a right, no matter the age. Sounds like these weren't very young children, perhaps young teens? You are right, it can become dangerous. I refer mainly to parents or guardians acting in a parental or disciplinary role towards children. When dealing with gangs the matter becomes very different. Best to be avoided if at all possible.
My parents used physical violence too, so yes I understand. It does mess with ones trust. In my opinion anyway.