Me BeForE AND mE aFTeR jOINinG stEEmIT- UNTALENTED 2.0

Wow! So I had been away for a while and trust me you won’t believe why so I wouldn’t even say anything.

I really hope I am not too late with this but no matter how late I had promised myself that I was going to participate and that is exactly what I am going to do. Well I made that promise because this means so much to me and the concept of untalented has always been one very endearing one.

Okay, you might have noticed that I have a knack for drifting away sometimes so let me just get straight to it; ME BEFORE AND ME AFTER STEEMIT.

I am not about to start painting steemit as the Jesus of my life and extolling its virtues and worshipping its feet because I actually had a life before steemit and I still do but honestly I know I cannot underestimate what steemit has done for me and the effect on my life as a whole.

Before I joined Steemit, I was studying for my law degree and I am a pretty very serious student. I am a workaholic, a focused person with thrills for doing new things with the whole of my soul.

Then something happened to me that disrupted the simple, straight-forward and drama-free life that I had. I found love.

I had always been considered as an ice queen, apparently not in the literal sense and I was also not cold, funny enough I was really friendly but I didn’t care much for guys. I liked them as friends and all but when you start saying something about love and relationship I just shut down automatically. Well somehow along the line I started having little bits of relationships, getting closer and being attached but I knew I was not in love with anybody, nobody really reached my soul so my life still went on normally and without drama. Until it didn’t.

Don’t worry, I am not about to bore you with the details of my love story because it was very complicated. Maybe someday I might be able to but just not now. Anyways, why did I bring it up? Let’s just say it didn’t end so pleasantly and I was thoroughly heart broken.

I cannot still put to words exactly what I felt in those tormenting months, I retreated into myself and into my God. Yes! God helped me pick up the pieces and continue my life but at a point I withdrew from God too. Everything was not so good and I gradually became very depressed.

I had been writing since I was young but I never took it seriously, I think it was sometime during my undergraduate days I picked it up and then I dropped it again. Well, it was in this stage of hopeless depression and pain that I couldn’t express that I turned back to writing. I poured my pain into writing, it became my solace and my haven. Really, I couldn’t talk to anyone and the writing helped me hide under fiction. Whenever I wrote depressing stuffs and anyone asked I just say its fiction.

Anyways, I became addicted to writing on instagram, I dumped my blog, my anthology plans and just continued writing on instagram while I gained nothing except expression of my pain. I am this kind of person that always wants to know that she is doing something productive and profitable per time and all and yes, I was writing and loving it but I didn’t feel I was gaining anything, so I kept on feeling more depression and writing about it.

This was until I found steemit, I usually say steemit is not about money for me but when I joined that was all I had in mind. It was like “finally I can continue writing and gain something”. Well, I am still happy about that, writing and gaining money but it has become more than that for me, so much more than that for me.

First thing is I think I started regaining my sense of purpose and my thrills for doing something new, I wrote almost every single day, I was just too excited and happy. My first three or four posts after my introduce yourself post did not gain up to a dollar but somehow I was not discouraged, I think it was somewhere along that line that I lost the zeal for looking for money on steemit. It was at that point I came to a realization, that steemit was a different social media platform because I could be me.

Steemit did that one thing for me and its that it made me unashamed to be me, to write me, to flow with me and at that point more than ever it was what I needed the most; to feel happy being me.

I still battle with depression occasionally but it is so much better now, I am on my way back to the relationship I had with God, I don’t feel so guilty anymore and when I am angry at the whole internet I have so many amazing people and writings here to make me smile and move on again.

Of course, Steemit is just a blockchain or an organization I really still don’t know but the point is that it’s the people that made it what it is and my steemit experience would be nothing without these amazing people. Trust me, I cannot mention them all so I will just mention all that I remember right now; @lemmybe thank you for introducing me to steemit @susan thank you for being a sweet sister @stellabelle gave me so much joy with her comments and upvotes @tojukaka made me feel more than me..lol @ewuoso @amec @evelyn @smyle @stach @steemlagos @playfulfoodie I cant thank y’all enough. I am not sure I got some of the username spelling right but really to everyone I have come in contact with; those who followed me, those I follow, those that upvote me and comment and interact. Everyone has given me a beautiful experience here.

Finally to my very special friend @surpassinggoogle you have made Steemit a home for me, your posts and responses has made me smile, laugh, pushed me to tears, made me think, I know I can go on and on but thank you so much.

Anyways, this is the story of me before and after steemit and we are still writing the story. I kinda decided not to go through this after typing so that I won’t be tempted to remove some things that took courage to let out so please pardon any errors….much love people and don’t forget to comment, upvote and resteem.

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I really didn’t know how to come up with a meme so I decided to simply share an unhappy or indifferent picture of me before steemit and a fulfilled one after.