All I Want For Christmas Is For It To End
"How could you do this to me," my younger sibling screamed on the phone fighting tears through the phone. "I asked you months ago if you were doing this and you said no."
I hesitated and took a few looks around me as people continued their last minute Christmas shopping. "I was in counseling at the time trying to figure it out," I responded. "It's a pro-"
"Why do you have to figure it out!" my sibling yells. "I don't know how to answer people who want to ask me and ma about this. You were my only brother and now I have to relearn you all over again."
Hearing that last phrase stings. I know I'm becoming a clearer version of myself. The actual version I've always been on the inside.
"I know I'm supposed to love you but I'm going to need time for this one. Merry Christmas but..." his voice trails off after that statement.
I know what's coming next. My nieces and nephews won't be allowed to see me. That is the only control my immediate naysayers can hold over me. For the first time in my 30 years of life, my family told me not to come home for the holidays. This call is super disheartening though, even worse than my parent who called to make sure a gift shipped than rushed me off the phone.
"But..[name redacted] will never be your name to me" my sibling states after a pause.
I've heard a very similar story from a lot of people I've met over the years. It often made the end of year holiday time some of the hardest to deal with.
While I can understand the need for somebody to have time to process the change...I've never quite understood the need to push people away like that. I truly hope your family is able to get over their own hurdles and welcome you back.
I'm sure this wasn't the easiest thing to share...but thank you for doing it!
hi i follow you and i upvote you.if you want do the same..
This is well written, but if I could offer just a little bit of advice to you. I suggest adding at least one relevant image into your blog post. It will give you a thumbnail when it shows up in the feed. People are more likely to click on your post if they see a thumbnail that catches their eye. Just something to consider.
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