Arizona outmaneuvers NCAA (Jim Shorts Reports)
The Arizona basketball team has managed to stay one step ahead of the NCAA. If you recall, the team and its coach, Some Douchebag,* were investigated by the FBI for stooping so low as to compensate their players in some of the millions of dollars the team brings into the university instead of the priceless one year of college education they are supposed to be paid in.
Many feared that Arizona would end up having to vacate all of their 2018 NCAA Basketball Tournament wins.
However, Arizona has instituted an iron clad way to ensure that they will not have to vacate a single win.
Some Douchebag implementing his brilliant strategy.
source
In a stroke of brilliance, the Wildcats decided to lose to a huge underdog last night.
After the game, Some Douchebag pointed to the camera and screamed, "You can't vacate wins if you don't have any wins!"
He then hopped into one of his many Ferraris and sped off to his mansion.**
*This is not the coach's actual name. It is merely a perfect description of him.
**There is no evidence that the coach has a Ferrari or a mansion but he does make about $3 million per year just from coaching.
That's about right too. Arizona had very high expectations for this Tournament too, but like you said, one way to make sure you don't have to vacate any NCAA Tourney wins is to just lose the first one in humiliating fashion!