You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Three Brothers—Comedy Open Mic Round #22
I like it! You did a great job of setting up the punchline. I liked how you talked about how the youngest brother was a little slower, so I was sort of expecting him to be the weak link. I also liked how you used the repetition of bringing "why not?" back into the story the 2nd time.
I guess the moral we learn here is that you should have a moderate amount of vices. It was the first two's overindulgence that got them in trouble, but like you said, the younger brother should have had something. ;)
Hey, @themanwithnoname. Yeah. Can't seem to write much of anything, even fiction, without some moral to the story. What's often the case with what I write anymore, I don't really go with any of that in mind. I just meant to flesh out the characters and then get to the punchline. Then it just kept coming.
Well, actually, I think there's an endearing quality that takes place when you know the rogues are vulnerable and otherwise well meaning. They're not your typical villains, and really, while probably closer to anti-heroes, they aren't so typical there, either. At any rate, if you're rooting for the brothers through it all, hopefully that means a good story was written. :)
So, consider this challenge complete. I was going to go for the Seattle transit token today, too, but this broke my two hour rule and so now I'm back in catch up mode on commenting, while being three behind on posts!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
That was way too melodramatic. Even for me.
—glenalbrethsen
I was rooting for them even though I figured they were doomed. I thought that someone was certain to mess up.
I think you did very well on this challenge. Sorry that it took so long, broke your rule, and put you behind so much. Hopefully you get a bunch of votes on it that make it worth it. :D
Well, I probably should have just cut to the chase, which was the joke, but I wanted more than just the joke, so I created the backstory and by the time that happened it was taking too long with no end in sight. I suppose I could have tried to cut some of it, but anyway. What's done is done and I did enjoy amplifying the joke.
There's actually a couple of larger SP upvotes on it, so that's cool. I don't think I've received them from tombstone or kevinwong before. Maybe, just for additional exposure if nothing else, I should try the comedy open mic more and not get carried away with it.
I liked what you did with it. It was enjoyable to read about how they got to that place in life. I think you did a good job.
Yeah, exposure is good. maybe they'll check out your blog again later. I'm considering dropping another entry next week. We'll see if I come up with something funny to say.
I got notified earlier today by the the comedy open mic people that I'm not eligible for a prize because my entry was not original. I based it on a known joke. I guess I didn't read the rules hard enough because I missed that part. Anyway, I don't know that I was expecting to win, but I do like to meet all of the requirements of a contest before I put time and effort into something. However, I'll know for next time. :)
Ohhh, I'm sorry, man. That sucks. You did such a good job on creating the backstory and everything for it. I'm sorry it didn't count. That just means your next one is going to be even better!
Well, thanks for the encouragement. We'll see. There's plenty of things to write about, as I've noted elsewhere, and I'll probably need to go back and find the rules again and read through them more closely. Then, come up with a shorter story with all original work.
It's really not that big a deal. I wasn't expecting to win anyway, but I did enjoy writing it regardless. I just need to know the rules and fine tune the telling of the story. :)
I enjoy your writing and I'm sorry that it didn't work out this time. Maybe next time you can make a quick post that just rolls off the brain. Then maybe you'll win and you'll be hooked on writing funny short stories!