Rantings of a Semi-Professional Dick Pic Critic

It’s 5 am and I’m meant to be sleeping. I was hoping to finish a fantastic dream I started the previous night and I’m sure Aquaman would agree. But instead I’m awake listening to the loud vibration of multiple messages flooding into my phone. My curiosity and irritation get the better of me, so I pick up my device to investigate. For a split second my negativity is replaced with the hope that I came into some unexpected money and the bank had to inform me at 5am. The hope fades fast as I read through the texts.

A friend, previous described as good, requested nudes of me in the first text. Shortly followed by the promise of a dick pic in the second text. Sadder than this, is that I’m not even shocked, this has happened more often than I would like to think about. I have not flirted with this “friend”, don’t see him often and we have no history of “benefits” in our relationship. Why then did he, and the numerous other “friends”, feel the need to send me bad photography of their junk?!

I’ve had so much unwanted pictures of male genitals on my phone I could create a rather bulky coffee table book. What gave them the idea that sending an unexpected photo of the least attractive body part, to a woman they are not dating, would result in something beneficial? Who started this rumour in the male communities that women secretly want to see strange cock and just don’t know how to ask for it. Please stop this madness.

And while we’re killing ridiculous rumours, I do not have the burning desire to send you photos of my private bits. Or any body part for that matter. Stop asking for nudes.

If someone knows the psychology behind this trend, please enlighten me.