The Oracool Answers Questions From The Steemit Community

in #funny7 years ago (edited)




Having received enough questions to make a post, it is now time again for me to share my wisdom and wit with the community. If you asked a question, find your answer below.

If you would like to know more about this blog, you may or may not find my introductory post here. Let us begin.



@meesterboom asks;



"My left foot is a little bigger than my right, is this a universal constant or a sign of something more sinister?"


Worry not, my friend. Your condition is a natural one. In order for our universe to survive, a balance must be maintained. Nature instinctively reacts to any imbalances that arise, seeking to reestablish equilibrium. This can be witnessed by means of the polarizing sun and moon, the battle between good and evil that abides within the soul of man, and the beverage war between coca-cola and pepsi.

In your case, this is no different. In fact, any and all humans who masturbate excessively develop one larger foot. This is a natural body-response to counteract the excess muscle you have gained through continued self-abuse. Should you refrain from any manual handling activities for long enough, your arms will regain their symmetry, and your foot will soon follow.

If you would like some help with this issue, there is a useful link below.

help-i-cannot-stop-wanking.com



@dreemit asks;



"Ever since I was a child butterflies have been attracted to me. To the degree that if any are flying around and I hold out my arm they will land on it without fail. (It's a fun "parlor" trick for outdoor parties, particularly if there are several of them in attendance) Why do think this is?"


Repeated visits from butterflies is often a sign of one's elevated state of consciousness. This is represented through the life cycle of the butterfly itself. The transformation from caterpillar, to cocoon, to butterfly, symbolizes the human journey of ascension through self-reflection.

It is likely that this is why you are being visited by butterflies, as a reminder that you are on the correct path. However, butterflies can taste with their feet, so there's also the possibility that a group of alcoholic-butterflies stalk you so that they might get the chance to land on you at parties simply to taste the liquor on your skin.

Food for thought:





@therealpaul asks;



"A question for @the-oracool, and even though you already know my question, I will type it out so that others can read it:
As you know, I recently thought about trying to become an oracle myself, but found that nearly all of the online courses were too expensive or were false oracles. I found a local school that looked promising, (beer and snacks were allowed in the classrooms!) but their website had no phone number or address, so I don't know how to attend the classes. Other than that, it looked like what I wanted, but as a potential student, I was supposed to already know if I'd passed the course or not. Therefore my question for you, The Oracool, is this: Did I, or will I graduate from oracle school, wherever it is?"



I am disappointed, my child. I thought that you may be my protege, and ultimately my predecessor. However, if you have yet to realise that the promising school for oracles is one tutored by me(What mere oracle would allow beer in class? None. Only the Oracool, because I am cool like that), then I must question if @the-oracool has gotten something wrong.


HAhahahHAha


Forgive me. I understand how silly that must have sounded. Of course I am not wrong. I am the Oracool. You are the heir to the reins of illumination, @therealpaul. This much is true. But to become an oracle, you must only look within yourself to find me(no homo).

Then you will know where to find me and my school for oracles.

Here is your only clue:

astronomers-see-the-universe-dying-all-around-us-489041-2.jpg



If you would like to be featured in the next post, ask a question in the comments section below. Once I have enough questions from the community, you will hear from me again.


Follow @the-oracool for more wit and wisdom, and share the experience with your followers by resteeming this post. Until next time, my friends.


Sort:  

Had to click the link. Rick Rolled! Lol

Thought you'd like that. Glad you can take a joke. Lol.

Totally man, my kind of humour!

:O You...Oracool.... Knew it. lol.

btw i hadnt laughed in a while but today ive been laughing thanks to these posts. and the link to Rick Astley lol

I am not the oracool. He is just so powerful that sometimes he uses my body as a vessel to communicate when he can't be arsed logging in. lol

hahhaha. yeah, kinda figured that was the case. the Dark orakool uses my body as a vessel also. haha.

that's pretty funny I like this post thanks for sharing ;)

If you enjoyed it, yet are unwilling to part with an upvote, then you could at least offer up a question for the next post... Anything goes.

Great post. Funny...lol followed

Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it!

It all makes so much sense now, I always thought they liked the way I taste. Of course they would, as I am pure sweetness.

Now since I am on the right path, as I must be as you said so, how do I find my way to the center of the earth?(not in the ground, I reject the center of the earth being in the ground)

"Should you refrain from any manual handling activities for long enough" - That's fantastic! Do you think switching which side you handle from could help regain symmetry and balance things out? Great sense of humor my galactic friend.

That was my question too!

LOL maybe he will answer it in the next post - fingers crossed.

@the-oracool, we have a follow-up question :-)

Thanks @theoracool, and now that you mention it, when I saw that beer was allowed, I thought out loud 'How cool is that?' Oracool, that's how cool. I'll take good care with those reins of illumination. According to that illustration, I'm going to need a minute before I reach my classes, and I have a feeling I'll be late occasionally, but looking forward (haha oracle humor right there!) to more answers here, and I'm glad I asked about this.

What is the best question anyone has ever asked you? ...and how did you answer?

Why can we not detect any alien civilizations with our current technology? Why do we have a fermi paradox?

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