another task, January 24th
I
felt fear and apathy, a loathsome combination to endeavor with, concerning film. I rebelled against the prospect of labor, trying tasks I thought Herculean. If I had a choice, avoidance was my crown, procrastination my scepter – I ruled the lax kingdom of safety, comfort in all I could see and understand, dare I ever tread one step into the borderlands, lest I be accosted by failure, sadness, agony, emotions and states I cannot fathom. Do I visit Pandora for Hope? As a king ignores the errors of his ways, the tragic flaw was hubris. I took great pride in, nay, I took solace in my ability, becoming one with the world, afraid of the unknown, shaken by the prospect I might earn at a price. It would be years before I connected higher education to this plight.
Between
the bosoms of deep, royal azure pillows, my head lay restfully, a voluntary state of ignorance to the adventure of growth, a thrilling saga across plains adorned with drooping pines, soles calloused by burning sands afoot, a chill rattling my chest during a blustering deluge, each step one closer to the mysticism behind the lore detailing a hidden treasure, as my mind comprehends it, the unseen, unknown, unfathomable. While I lay and wake, the dreams do not evade me. I take this as the gift, remaining delightfully rapt, with one such as myself, a humbling patience, the image of a Caribbean mother, a family hidden behind the couch, blinds drawn, surprise, a present from your sweetheart, the dreams lie in wait. Welcome adversity, overcome adversity, thoughts of mates from the eleventh, twelfth year urging me to speak my mind to her, the box is thine only, open it not only for what it holds, but for what it lacks. Fear waits as I open bravery, failure hides as I discover success, discipline nods as I greet greatness.
I have film to shoot.
The Olympus Stylus Epic is restored.