Marvel comics Highlights #4: 1982-1988
In 1982 Marvel finally realized that nobody liked Captain Mar-vell, so they canceled his stories by having him dying of cancer. They tried to make it seem tragic by having lots of heroes being next to his deathbed and Thanos talking about the afterlife, but still not many cared because he was always a nobody. And yes, he was eventually resurrected, only to be killed soon afterwards, and again nobody cared.
Marvel also realized nobody liked Ms. Marvel, so in 1983 they had this minor villain named Rogue absorbing her powers and leaving her comatose. Rogue was haunted by the consciousness of Ms. Marvel, and she joins the X-men so Xavier can fix this problem. And that’s how Rogue became one of the most iconic X-men, and Ms. Marvel got taken out of the picture. Not for long though; this is Marvel we are talking about. Eventually she wakes up but now she has a different uniform and different powers. It’s not the same character guys, really, keep reading our comics.
While this is happening, the still grieving Scott Summers meets and quickly marries a woman named Madelyne Pryor. The reason? She looks exactly like Jean Grey. And if that sounds completely shallow to you, it’s because it is. Just because she looks like her doesn’t mean she is her, you dumbass.
And while that is happening, Galactus is consuming the Skull homeworld. I didn’t mention the Skrulls so far because they were not important in any highlight but they were a huge alien civilization that was constantly attacking Earth. After this event they stopped being generic evil aliens because they got victimized. Now they are poor little green men looking for a new home. Keep that in mind, it will be important later on.
In 1984 a huge ass cross over event took place, named Secret Wars. The most powerful being in the Multiverse decides to have a battle royale and teleports in Battleworld heroes and villains of all types. It was basically canon fan fiction, since it was just a lazy excuse to see your favorite heroes fighting your favorite villains. It seems very epic when you read it but there is no actual thought put into it and it feels very silly in retrospect. As for that being that organized everything, it was called the Beyonder and along the decades it has been nerfed several times from the ultimate power to now being nothing more than a strong mutant inhuman. I liked how he was trying to understand what it means to be imperfect at first, but then it became a joke and he was no longer fun.
In 1985, a warlock is freed from an amulet and with reality warping magic turns a city into a pocket dimension where everything is still like the Hyborian Age. If the name Hyboria doesn’t ring a bell, it’s basically the name of the continent Conan the Barbarian was living in. And if you are wondering if this is some sort of non-canon crossover fan fiction, I assure you it’s all canon because Marvel bought the rights to use the world of Conan and merged it in its universe. It’s supposed to be the age before the last cataclysm and occasionally it has people from that time interacting with this time. And if you think this concept is crazy, it’s because it is.
It was fun seeing the X-men and the Avengers thinking they were ancient heroes but there was no way it would fuse well with the continuity, so it was basically erased from it, by having Dr. Strange messing with time. Now I haven’t mentioned Dr. Strange all this time, because he is another one of those characters who, just like Mar-vell, he is everywhere but doesn’t really do something. He otherwise has really broken powers, at times rivaling even those of Adam Warlock. Who by the way is not this warlock, it’s a different warlock… in space. Yes it’s crazy.
One of said powers is gates through space and time. So he basically makes a portal to open a few months in the past, and allows a Nimrod unit to cross into this timeline at the moment the warlock was being freed. If you are wondering what the hell is a Nimrod, it’s an advanced type of Sentinel from the Days of Future Past, which as I stated before, it wasn’t erased and just like the age of Conan also interacts with this timeline. Yes, it’s crazy. So this robot basically kills the guy who was about to free the warlock from the amulet, thus essentially preventing the event from ever happening. Nimrod on the other hand remained on this timeline and caused a lot of trouble later on. Even Dr. Strange admits that messing with time is going to boomerang against them eventually. Which it did.
1986 is all about babies. Wanda and Vision have twins… who are not real babies. Vision is a robot; he doesn’t have semen. Scarlet Witch created them with magic and acted as if they were the result of love or some shit. This will cause a lot of trouble in the future, so keep that in mind.
In the same year, Scott and Madelyne also have a baby, named Nathan. And just about when they thought they were happy, Jean comes back alive. In one of the worst retcons of all time, Marvel made it seem like the Jean using the Phoenix Force was a clone, with the real one sleeping at the bottom of the ocean for all these years. And if you think that was bullshit enough, the following year it is revealed Madelyne is also a clone, created by Mr. Sinister, who wanted to create a super mutant through the union of these two, in order to kill his master, Apocalypse. Bullshit overload.
Madalyne was eventually abandoned by everybody in 1988. Scott dumped her for Jean, and Mr. Sinister had no use for her after she gave birth. This led her into basically making a deal with the devil and brining hell on Earth. Which is another crazy thing that is hard to believe yet it actually happened. This event was called Inferno, where Madalyne becomes the Goblin Queen, an in-joke to the Goblin King from a movie named Labyrinth, and summons a bunch of demons that are possessing objects and eat people. Very occult stuff you will not see too much today. Anyways, this convoluted event ends when Jean gets back the Phoenix Force and absorbs her counterpart. And if that felt like a lazy way to bring back Jean with all her powers, it’s because it is.