Dysfunctional Scribe #Freewite

When one picks a pen or a keyboard with the intention of sharing their thoughts, we say they are writing. Writing for most people is having the ability to create flowing sentences with words. Those words you create or come up with are what makes you a writer... right? Me being who I am, I beg to differ.

Hear me out.

If you look up the meaning of the word write, it means marking (letters, words, or other symbols) on a surface, typically paper, with a pen, pencil, or similar implement. And with the current times, typing on a keyboard. Writing is exactly what you believe it is and probably I am not making sense but for me it simply means something else.

What do I mean, you are asking?

Writing to me is more like picking up a sharp blade and cutting open a stale wound in hopes that it will heal. It's ripping open a vien just to watch the blood gush out hoping it will take away the pain as it leaves the body. It is usually hard and annoying especially when there's an audience involved.

This is because I choose to pen very disturbing words. Most of them end up in fire or collecting dust in hidden drawers somewhere in my humble abode. I am very particular about what I post... anywhere for that matter. I have experienced cyber bullying in the past over my work and that forced me to be less trusting of my audience as much as I need them. It drained my pens for a while. Made me question my human over creating was seemed to be bothering a few souls out there.

Writing has also been a way out of so much darkness. It has been the light guiding my tired feet out of a swamp. Even as I am yet to master it, it is my therapy.

Sometimes I meditate on my journey with writing and I can't help but feel a little disoriented. It was in primary school when I figured I could write 'poetry' out of reading Songs of Solomon from the good book. I had no story books or such to read so bear with me. I thought I was the best writer there was because of the praises I was getting from my classmates.

Problem is, they had no books other than textbooks and the bible too. I knew I was a flop when I got to grade 7 and access to the school library was mine. It was my first time reading books.

That's when I met Nancy Drew. Graduated to Sheldon, Steele, Conan and the amazing Charles Dickens. African writers came a lil bit much later and conquered my bookworm.

The more I read, the more it became clear that my writing needed practice. And I am practicing still. Practicing not to hold on as much to what I create. Practicing to write on the run as @taraz would say. I am also praticing to write diverse genres of poetry. I hope it all sums up in me turning into a 'normal' writer some day.

Pexels/Pixabay.

Are you a writer yourself?

Cross Posted.

BQ.