Sunday night Freewrite: Reflection on losing it all

The last few days have been taxing here on Steem in many ways, and we all know how much crypto people love to pay tax. For me personally, there were some up and down moments as I absorbed what information was available and tried to sketch potential outcomes. Accurate or not, the process is calming for me.

While I did this, I tried to be mindful of what I was going through more objectively, to try and observe myself in the uncertain conditions and how I was processing them. More than one I was a little surprised to find that I am truly okay with losing all that I have worked for on Steem the last 3 years. Don't misunderstand, I would likely be upset, but it wouldn't break me, I would survive, I would be able to move on.

I think this is because I am content with what I have done and no there is little else I personally could have done in the lead up to this point. Perhaps it is kind of like going onto the field of play for a sport, giving it all and still losing. The act of giving it all comes with the acceptance that even though one tried, it wasn't enough. Or, that there were conditions that were outside of ones control.

There are three conditions we can look at here, the things we can control, the things we can influence and, the things we can't control. Sometimes we have the tendency of spending too much time worrying about what we can't control, rather than influencing what we can and controlling ourselves. Controlling ourselves is pretty much the only thing we may have direct control over, and even that is tenuous.

I don't know about you, but in my experience, trying to exert control over others doesn't end well, as I know that when people try it on me, I am more likely to double up my resistance. People rarely respond well to force or threats. Do you?

I can't control what others do with their stake on Steem, but I do think that it is possible to influence it . However, if threatening doesn't really get the best results, what then? Well, at least at this point, I do not think that there is much of a negotiation going on and while some members might think a backdown was coerced by the community, I just think they don't really know what is going on yet.

What I do hope though is that as they do learn about what Steem is and the potential it holds, they recognize the value in building toward a stronger Steem. From a business and risk perspective, maybe it is better to go slow and aid development rather than try to force into any kind of mold. We can already see that there are going to be communication issues and in general, Steem doesn't respond well to poor communication - perhaps doesn't respond well to any communication.

Regardless of what someone does in the Steem world, there will always be opposition to it and even if what is done makes sense, a lot of the opposition is going to be personal. Like it or not, being on Steem doesn't make us all the same, it is just a common unifying factor. In this area, I have a rule of thirds.

• 1/3 of people like you
• 1/3 of people dislike you
• 1/3 of people don't care about you

Steem contains all of these people.

Normally in the real world, we spend much more time with people who like us or don't mind us too much because that is what our socialization selects for. It isn't common that one goes out for a drink with enemies - except at the staff Christmas party. Online however, it is common place as the social platforms select for drama and conflict, they create spaces where no matter what is said, there is going to be strong supporters and strong detractors. The third of people who don't care just walk away, or watch on in amusement - before they jump headlong into something they do care about.

We often tend to get defensive when the 1/3 of detractors show up and try to argue our position in what is a losing game. The reason is that in general, the arguments are too polarized and become forced attacks and as said, no one likes to be forced, so they double down on their position. Pretty much, the only way to really have an open conversation on hard topics is when one doesn't care about the outcome, one is agnostic either way.

This doesn't mean on actually has to be uncaring, just that for the sake of discussion, be able to take a position that can detach from the feeling of winning or losing. This is hard for most of us, as we like to win and hate to lose.

This gets me back to the last few days as I contemplated losing what I have worked toward, the last few years of my life. What I have noticed is that I have become more agnostic on the outcomes of my actions here, and while I do hope for a valuable future with a diverse set of value streams, the more important factor is putting in my best effort when I step onto the field of Steem. This takes a lot of the strength out of the fear of failure and loss as while I can lose my past, I can never lose what I do as I do it.

This is living in the moment, the 1/3 between love and hate.

It can be a hard space to live perhaps as there is always the tendency to run toward what one wants, and away from what one fears. But both positions mean that control of the self is gone as the goal becomes a craving that guides steps and one will travel wherever fear chases. While everything happens in the moment, our minds are equipped to avoid discomfort and seek pleasure and often, they are found in what we believe we desire in the future, based on what we believe is undesirable from our past. Pay too little attention, and our own preferences can make us blind to opportunity.

One thing I have noticed over the past few days is that it seems a lot of people feel they do not have control over their experience on Steem because things can change quickly and in undesirable ways. However, what I think is, each f us needs to find our own place in this world and understand that the ground on which we walk is always shifting, whether we want to move or not.

On Steem you hold your keys and that means, you are responsible for what you post, the comments you make and the votes you cast. While there are plenty of things that you can influence through your stakes and words, there is always going to be more than that outside of your control and as such, you have to be prepared to adapt. Adaption might mean raising resistance, it also might mean lowering it.

I might lose all I have worked toward, but it doesn't mean I am lost.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]