On the rocks and at sea

Since I am awake at 4 am at my daughter's bedside (she has a bad cough and keeps waking up) I thought I would ramble a little. We have a rocking chair in her room from when she was tiny so it is perfect for such ramblings.

This is the current pool:

Almost a million Steem in there waiting to be distributed by the community on content created by the community. That is incredible, is it not? It is normally around 750,000 Steem which is why post values are increasing as well as vote values because they must grow to balance the pool, even as the price of Steem falls.

Nights like this always take me back to all of the health worries of our daughter's start but, no matter how hard it has been, I wouldn't trade her for the world. Nor would I go back in time.

A friend asked the other day with all the risk and heartache that children can bring, why have them? Perhaps it is because of those things that gives them life value. I know for myself at least, I am a much better person having experienced fatherhood than prior. But it isn't for everyone.

I think that one of the problems in the world of parents is this societal pressure so that many feel they must have children to be complete, that without, they haven't lived fully. It is nonsense but it leads many people into a role they may not be suited for due to a range of reasons and can do untold harm on the children themselves.

Some people talk about parenting as a job, it is not, it is a life. There is no quitting, no retirement and no matter how tired, angry or frustrated by life one might be, a sick child takes precedence every time. It isn't work, it is the fight for survival for another and there is nothing a parent wouldn't do if they saw no other way.

This is a picture I came across the other day in a folder. It is a picture of our daughter in the ICU. It was an incredibly difficult time and are not over yet but again, they shaped me in ways I would not have formed of the experience had been different. I believe they have helped me be a better father and looking back at these images reminds me.

I spend a lot of time thinking about many things but there is no investment I will ever make that is larger nor more valuable than the one into being this little girl's father and doing the best I can by her.

For me at least, being a father is a bit like the pool at the moment, it gives me extra. It is a source of energy that I have access to because of her needing me to do what is necessary for her and even though tired, I find a little more inside every time. Does one need to be a parent to understand or have access to the pool? No, but this is what helps me.

I have always had a lot of hopes and dreams for myself to one day be able to leave this world in better shape, to add value in. My daughter though has given me a different perspective and provided an purpose as to why it is important to do so.

Some people look at the pool of Steem as a way to buy a better life and as much as I would love a little luxury, it is much more than that to me. As I see it, that pool is a tool that can be used to create a better world and perhaps reward and inspire more people to take part in the process. To me distribution is important but, so is what one is going to do with the tool in their hand.

We all have potential in this worldb and even though the degree might change, the opportunity to be our best in any given moment does not. I do get worn out at times and I do worry about all manner of things but, there is more to the story than my own needs at this point in time. I feel I have a chance to make a positive difference in some way, what would it mean if I didn't take it?

Money, time or a hammer are nothing more than resources, what I do with each is what makes the difference to the future.

I did warn that this was a ramble. 5am. I will close my eyes here in the rocking chair, just for a moment.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
_{(posted from phone)}