Frozen in time

It is interesting how my memory works or probably more accurately, how it doesn't. This last year has been somewhat of a blur for me and has seemed to travel incredibly fast in hindsight and very slowly in the moment. Some moments with my daughter have rushed by and she is learning at an incredible pace while other moments, like trying to get her to sleep have crawled along like a lazy snail.

In those moments that have crawled, the moments where my mind is shutting down and my eyes struggle to stay open, I try to force myself to pay attention. I have a feeling that in time, it will be those moments late at night with her little body in my arms, that will be the most cherished I hold.

Tomorrow, I will pick up my sister from the airport. It has been a year since I have seen her and the last time she was here, our daughter was a month old and hanging over shoulders like a little sloth. Now she is saying a few words and is rarely still. In that year though, we have all changed.

When I see my family, I sometimes forget that time has passed, that we have experienced a whole lot of life between one meeting and the next. Good times and bad have come and gone and have left their mark upon our skin. Wrinkles and the odd grey hair are starting to show through and there is no reminder like the sight of someone close seen after a long time, to show how much has gone by.

Two of my brothers, I haven't seen for 9 years. I think we have all experienced a lot in that time, but without seeing each other face to face, do we recognise this? The memory plays tricks on me I think, remembers people the way they were the last time I saw them without processing what may have transpired in the time between. Have they changed, or have I?

Of course, we all have changed but as life goes by, it is hard to recognise the shifts in ourselves until we can compare it to a position in the past. Tomorrow when I see my sister it will be a comparison day, a snapshot of each other a year apart. I look forward to seeing her a lot, I wonder how much we have changed.

She is only here a few days and only with us for one night so I will spend as much time with her as possible, I think she will spend a lot of time with our daughter. I know that the distance and time in between is hard. My family in Australia feel they are missing out on her growing up, missing out on her development into her unique personality.

Unfortunately, their feelings are correct, they are missing out on a lot and this time will never pass by again. Does it matter in the long-run, does it matter at all? I cannot say but this is the way it is, the way it currently is anyway. We all miss out on each other's lives while we are living our own, it is the way life works, the way it has been designed. Without this opportunity cost, we would likely take it all for granted.

Well, at least for a few days they can spend time together, we can spend time together and catch up and remember what was and discuss what might be around the corner of the future. Time cannot be frozen, no matter what tricks memory plays.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]