Crazy Exes: Who are you calling crazy?

Love is blind? No, people are stupid.

Well, stupid sounds a bit harsh but stupid comes from old French and meant amazed, foolish, literally 'struck senseless'. Now, that sounds like love.

Well again, it doesn't really sound like love does it? It sounds like lust, when desire meets its object and now will do anything to get it, even overlook telltale signs and lie to itself to fulfill its aims.

This is how people end up with crazy exes, they choose them. They see something within them that attracts them and focus on that without checking what lays to the sides. They ignore the bad behaviors, excuse jealousy away as 'caring' and overlook a whole host of attractiveness in order to possess what is attractive.

Who is the crazy one? The ex or the person that chose such a person?

It is not so flattering to the self to say that 'I only paid attention to the good bits and desired them so much I ignored the bad. I am not a very good judge of character at all', is it? What about the people that have many 'Crazy Exes'? At some point you'd think they'd learn not to pick crazy people.

People also never factor in that they themselves may have a role to play in bringing out the crazy in people. Just like one person may find a particular comedian hilarious, another may not find them funny in the slightest. Perhaps the ability to make someone laugh is similar to the ability to make someone crazy.

Yes, some people are crazy but based on the sheer number of people with 'crazy exes' I do not believe that so many truly are. What I do think however is that people are becoming increasingly bad at choosing partners that are suitable for them. What can go wrong when you swipe for partners after all?

The other thing that play a big role is that people are increasingly bad at handling their emotions and the normal pressures of a relationship. Couple this with an increase in 'I am a winner' attitudes and you get people that do not want to lose. This includes even toxic relationships.

They would much rather stay and 'fight for' someone that brings out the worst in them than suffer the loss or humiliation of being left. Loss is too much for their fragile egos to take.

Therefore, there are people that are poor at reading people, manipulated by their desires, incapable of dealing with discomfort and pressure and fearful of commitment dating people who live life as if it is a competition and do not want to lose as it will bruise their fragile image of themselves.

But I love you!!!!

Some people are of course hiding their true self in the early stages but unless a clinical psychopath, this is very hard to maintain in the mid-term. Plus, if one has even the slightest understanding of people, is even impossible to hide in the short-term.

Again, crazy exes are like most negative experiences, they get the blame from people who are generally unwilling to acknowledge their own role played in the situation. People who consistently think they are the ones that never do anything wrong.

Personally, I do not have any crazy exes as firstly I choose my partners well because I know I will have to spend time with them. Secondly, I treat them with respect. And thirdly, if it is not working, we have handled it like the adults we are and can both walk away knowing it is for the best. Why would anyone want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with them anyway?

As a result, I am on speaking terms with nearly all of my exes and the ones that I am not, we do not speak at all. That is because they wanted more than I was willing to give but understood that it was not going to happen. No craziness, no scratched cars, threats on social media or restraining orders needed.

Maybe I am lucky? I think not. But of course, everyone thinks that right? Everyone thinks that they can pick the winner. For me the reason is actually quite simple.

When I was sixteen, 22 years ago, I was with this girl for a year and a half and then she left me. It pissed me off a lot and I acted and said things I should not have. But, I realised it after a couple of days and recognised something in myself. This helped me study a different part of who I was and realise, we can all be crazy, what are my triggers? Once I found them, I cut the wires.

A little crazy is acceptable for a sixteen year old high on hormones and peer pressure, it is not for someone that claims to be an adult. This goes for chasing after lust without vetting the person well. But hey, this is just my view of the world.

The ex I was a little bit crazy ex with? We still chat occasionally as I apologised for my behaviour soon after and never bothered her with such nonsense again.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]