A step or two, and you.

It is interesting how different people see dancing, for some it is a loved passion and they spend every free moment practicing, learning and partying. For others, they avoid it like the plague.

I watch my daughter when music she likes come on (even when I sing sometimes which shouldn't class as music) and she sways her body or shakes her arms from side to side with a smile on the face. The other day I was with some friends with young children and they did the same. Just about every child I have spent any time with has danced to the music.

When and why does this stop, at what point does dancing become an embarrassing action?

Often, it is the boys who stop first, the girls continue on much longer, if not forever. Perhaps it is when the boys start worrying what other boys think of them. Is that natural? For me, I have always danced I think, for as long as I can remember at least.

Sometimes, I would get teased by the boys for dancing at primary school discos in the circles with the girls. I never minded that, maybe it was because I got teased anyway, maybe it was because dancing with the girls was fun.

I have always had better relationships with girls, I think it is because they are generally more accepting and have less to prove. At least when they are young. Even now, the vast majority of my friends are women, I only have a couple of good guy friends and most of them live in different countries. Not a lot of guys nights out.

At high school, a rumour was started by a girl that I wouldn't date, that my best friend and I were gay. For a couple of months, we were shouted out at across the yard by her group. I felt sorry for my friend, I was used to that kind of thing, he wasn't. He took it surprisingly well and it actually worked out for the both of us as a group of about 20 girls felt sorry for our situation and took us under their collective wings. For awhile this made the abuse a bit louder but for us, this point in high school was a good time.

My friend and I actually went and took 'techno' dancing lessons, it was the early 90s. We learned some pretty cool stuff and one school disco night, we broke out our moves and danced with all of the girls, while all of the guys sat against the wall. Again, this led to even better times.

High school guys are quite ridiculous over such things really, they rarely think these things through. The guys that hangout with the girls, dance with the girls and date the girls, are classed the gay ones, while they sit in a group of sweaty guys. I think that the irony is lost on boys.

Most mature though, start to understand that they must adapt somewhat for themselves to date a girl, and adapt again in order to keep her interested enough to stay. Guys are very flexible when women are involved. This is why they are so easy to manipulate, there is an array of buttons on their chest and women seem to have the Ikea instructions on what to press to make them jump. Or dance.

As a result, many start to dance, at least after a few drinks as they have learned that it is necessary to show that they have some rhythm at least. From what I have heard from some of my female friends, it is a pretty good indicator. But, I don't think that is the main reason, I think it shows that a guy is willing to be outside of his comfort zone and look a bit silly. That is probably attractive in some way.

For me, dancing has many memories attached to it. My first kiss was while dancing, she was a year older than me, the pretty girl at school, I was 13. I even remember what I said to her when she pulled slightly away from a slow dance embrace and looked at me, I was very nervous but of course, very, very smooth, 'So, I guess you want me to kiss you?'

Hehe, I haven't thought about that in years. It makes me smile.

Like I said, many memories come from dancing, many stories throughout my life but only one continues. I have only seriously been manipulated by one girl, the one in the picture, my wife. We met dancing, we flirted through dance, we learned each other through dance, we understood each other through dance, cooperated first, became partners, flowed together and trusted each other through dance.

From day one, the first moment I saw her, I knew. Even before the dancing. It took a long time to win her over, to convince her that I was worthy. My dancing was definitely not up to her standard, so I had to work very hard indeed. Luckily I am witty ;)

It is not about being a good or bad dancer, it is about the connection between. When two people dance, no matter how good they are, they may not feel the subtlety of movement, the bond. When two people that really are in tune dance, no matter the steps, it seems to flow.

Lately, we have not danced, only once or twice here and there. There has just been too many things, too much struggle in other areas, we have not been able to. It saddens me though as when our lives are torn between a hundred different things, we don't have the time for us and when we have danced, it has been awkward, and out of sync. From the outside maybe people don't see, but I know she feels it too.

We need to find the time, work harder to make the space for if we let it go too far, it may mean the lead and follow disappears, the connection is lost, the rhythm of two people working in unison, each playing their part to life's melody will break. And I don't want that to have a chance of happening. So like all the other men, I must adapt also for when a woman is involved.

The woman.

My first kiss was dancing, my last kiss will be dancing with her.

Taraz
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