On Being a Summer Researcher

I read a lot on the internet. Many times it is on topics related to research and science and health. Often, I have strong reactions to these things that I read. But then I read someone else’s eloquent response to said topic, and I find myself agreeing with them and not thinking about writing a response of my own. If someone else did it well, why should I even try to add yet another opinion to the fray?

So, many times, I fail to write anything. I let others say it for me.

Not always the best way to approach things. I’m working on this particular failing of mine (is failing even a word in this context? Because if not, it is now).

Another reason for my extended absence? Life. It gets in the way of everything. There is work to be done that I am also failing miserably at accomplishing. At this moment, I should be working on figures for a manuscript. But every time I open Illustrator to start, I stare blankly at my computer screen. There is so much to do, that I don’t know where to start. It is one of those times in my life.

I also struggle with what to put here… I still question how to balance the “professional” with the personal. How much should be anecdote? How much should be opinion? How much should be fact and analysis?

I’m 32 years old and still don’t know what I want out of myself most of the time. I’m living in adulthood while simultaneously trying to avoid it. I’m pretty sure that is a recipe for disaster. Just wait for my inevitable implosion.

For myself, this summer gave me the chance to work on patience and refining my abilities. I’ve learned how to communicate more effectively. Every day is a reminder to me to set clear goals, explain what I want, and then let others try things out for themselves. They may fail. I’ve failed. But it will be a learning experience for all involved.