The Unforgiving Wind
"Living in the the plain, and expecting the protection of the mountains." can be my life motto! It could have been the title of this story, but never the less the subject is the same.
Before I moved to Belgrade I never experienced such winds, and I never fully understood my need for freedom and protection all in one, until this wind blew me of my feet (literally). It blows a few days a year, and I still remember my facial expression the first time the winds began to blow, while we were packing our new apartment. The sound surprised me, and I dropped everything I was holding and got out on the balcony. The wind went right trough me, and took my breath away with it. I realized:
"I moved away from my home, in search of freedom and there is no protection now".
Seams a little bit dramatic, I know, but that is how my brain works. Almost everything is an association for me, a booster for my thoughts. One thing inspires another one.
I've always been kind of strange combination of two persons, one seeking freedom and one looking for safety. The two are often in conflict, because you can hardly find a place, person or a situation where both of my personalities can feel comfortable. I realized that a long time ago, but it surprises me to this day when one or the other merge like a little angel/devil siting on my shoulder and starts poking at my insecurities.
The wind always brings out some strange longing for home and shelter, I suppose it's written in our DNA. I need my "mountains" to guard me from the world, and shield me from the bad, but still let me roam the wilderness, and explore the terrain of my personality.
But over the years I learned how to carry my home in my heart, and feel safe no matter where I am. The winds may be unforgiving, changing and shaping the nature, but it can also make you stronger and more resilient. Use it to set sail, and catch a good course in your life.
With love,
Tamara
"I've always been kind of strange combination of two persons, one seeking freedom and one looking for safety. The two are often in conflict, because you can hardly find a place, person or a situation where both of my personalities can feel comfortable. I realized that a long time ago, but it surprises me to this day when one or the other merge like a little angel/devil siting on my shoulder and starts poking at my insecurities."
I can relate to this, albeit on a more shallow level.
I love to party and hit the clubs when I travel. I love meeting people inside and drinking with them, especially when it's a super hot girl.
But lately, sometimes I feel it's so meaningless. Partying gets old fast. Once the intoxication dies off, you wonder why you spend all your time and money inside. The hangover doesn't help too.
So I yearn for the comfort that is home. Yet at home, I get bored. I feel too grounded. When I get into a relationship with someone who's here, now and available for me, I feel trapped. I yearn to travel again.
I switch back and off.
Angel and devil indeed. Sometimes I feel like a brat.
Thanks for the post @tamacvet
I think it's something that most of us feel in one or the other way, the important thing is not to blame yourself, but accept you just the way you are! And work on self-improvement!
Thank you for stopping by and leaving such an amazing comment!
Thanks! Even your reply alone is encouraging. I am usually told by my friends to stop being a little bitch haha.
Where there is love there is life.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Great story Tamara, many of us have this dual personality. We move into whichever role suits us best at the time.
Thank you @petruska13, I think you are right, love your input and comment every time!
It's my pleasure, keep on writing.
Interesting Story, Nature Friendly
Thank you!
Very good post can you please follow and upvote me that would really be very generous from you thanks
@tamacvet nice article I upvoted although I wanted to add freedom doesn't demand security if it demands so nothing is secure than prisons in world . But its your perspective and I respect it. in my opinion freedom is more like knowing the thing is dangerous and yet you do it like surfing, climbing a mountain. it was a good article overall and I upvote . I have a new story that is true you might wanna read and upvote thanks.
https://steemit.com/story/@diverse-thinker/power-that-changes-the-world
prelepo napisano!!! :)
Hvalaaa :)
Sto nisam pazio u skoli sad bih pisao kao ti :)
@tamacvet Excellent submit and very insightful. Have learnt a whole lot from it. Resteemed.
Indeed actually excellent submit. Followed
Thank you!