Children learn by example...
Once I wanted to put an image of my eyes on my Whatsapp profile, so I took a selfie and cut it out to get what I wanted. Then my daughter sees my profile and says: Mommy lend me your phone, and then she takes a selfie too and cuts it out like mine. When she finishes, my son, who had been watching us, says: Mommy now me. And he quickly makes his own.
Then I felt the need to remove the photo with only my eyes that I had initially placed and place the one you see above. Since then it is on my Whatsapp profile and reminds me that they are always watching me.
That short chain of actions leads me to a very common phrase that I always keep in mind:
"Children learn by example "
I confess I'm even scared of that sentence. Our children are born to be shaped by us, their parents; and it is a responsibility that since I was single I felt was beyond me. I have always thought that being a parent is the most heavenly thing we can do on earth.
I find it frightening to be aware that my children, just as they learn from my virtues, also copy my defects, which are so many
Call me exaggerated, but the thought that such pure and clean beings are being contaminated by my mistakes demoralizes me. When for some reason I scold them, then I think there must be a different way for them to understand what I say. It has never been necessary to go beyond a few grumbling words, but I am still teaching them to be grumpy. I want to be a much better person for them, I want them to get from me only what I want them to learn.
If I can't behave the way I would like to, how can I demand that they do?
...And yet I do.
They are such good children and yet so fragile. Once a teacher of my daughter told me that she was very noble, that it would be good to teach her that not everyone is like her and to be stronger. For her part, there was a time when some children from the school beat my son. I had taught her that violence generates more violence, that if a child assaulted him, he should demand respect from the child and immediately notify the teacher. He did and things didn't get any better. I went and talked to the teacher a couple of times and nothing happened, the children kept bothering my son, until my husband had to tell him that if they made him defend himself again, he should not let them bother him any more. As a result, we put him in a karate school. Fortunately, at that time, they changed the teacher and the new teacher immediately noticed the situation and put the children in their place and it didn't happen again.
The point is, this world is not pink, and it's not that I'm a pessimist, on the contrary I have always lived on my own planet, inside this planet. I practice appreciation, prayer and whatever tools can help me connect to the positive. I have taken quite a few hits, however, life has been generous to me, it has allowed me to overcome difficult situations. I consider myself very lucky, or in better words, that God loves me.
I find it terrible to have to teach my children things I don't believe in. I never had to defend myself, to be malicious. My mom used to tell me that I didn't notice when people made fun of me, that I lived on another planet, and I'm sure that's how it was. I was happy then in the best way I could. As adults, life teaches us, and we already have the ability to choose what we learn.
Although we adopt the theory that they should defend themselves if someone attacks them, we also tell them that the best victory is not to have to do it, to avoid a fight by all means. To be firm in making themselves respected, without becoming aggressive. We teach them not to judge people, each one carries his own cross and is here for a purpose, but that does not mean that they should let themselves be harmed by anyone, that they should simply walk away from conflicting people, among many other things.
I can do no more than ask God to always enlighten us as parents to give them everything they need to build a good foundation that will help them to be good, full and happy people all their lives.
Our greatest reward every day is to see their smiles, to enjoy how incredible they are, all their love and their joy. They are light in our home and are my best reason to thank, thank and be grateful.
Own images edited with the Inshot application downloaded from Play Store for Android.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)